Today was a very cold day here! Ken took mom to her treatment early. I went over to mom's about 9:30 and got breakfast, g'mommie gave HR a bottle, and I got a roast in the crock pot for dinner before going to pick mom up. The West Clinic was slammed today. They had people parked all the way down the street. The first thing mom said when she got into the car was how glad she was she re-scheduled to first thing in the morning treatment.
I went with Todd to his doctor appt at noon while mom and grandmommie took Haidyn home. When I got back Haidyn was being rocked with a bottle by the Christmas tree, so she could see the lights of course, by greatgrandmommie. I don't know who will miss who more tmrw but grandmommie and Haidyn have really bonded. They talk all day and take rest periods. Grandmommie even knows her crys now so Grandmommie would let us know what Haidyn had to say:) I think we have all appreciated our time with grandmommie but none like the little spoiled one. Mom and grandmommie have spent some special time together and with Haidyn.
Ken went and picked up the family pictures tonight. Mom looked so good in the pictures. She said she feels better about her wig now that she sees how pretty it looks on her. It has been a tough time for company how mom's treatments were scheduled but atleast now Erica, Michael and Grandmommie can say they have seen the worst side effect for mom, fatigue, and we can all live with fatigue.
God has been so good to us. Mom has some of the best doctors and nurses watching over her treatments. The treatments have been fairly kind to her physically and she is ready to get some results from her treatment. We even got Grandmommie to agree to come back more often and see us, I think Haidyn made a deal with her and she may be just 10lbs but she's pretty stinkin' hard to say no to.
We are all tired and will certainly fall asleep unready to say goodbye in the morning but blessed by the time we have shared the last week.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
November 29, 2009
So I am going to start this a little earlier tonight in hopes that I will stay awake to finish the blog.
Friday Erica, Michael, Todd and I went black Friday shopping for everyone's list. We got home about 11 and needed a rest peroid! We hung out for a while then HR and I went to the house. Todd and Michael watched football at our house while Erica, Grandmommie and mom had a short outting together. We went back to mom's for dinner where Ken had cooked a wonderful chicken crock pot meal. We all went over to our house after dinner to celebrate Christmas together with Erica and Michael and grandmommie. We must have all been on the nice list cause Santa was very good to us all!
Erica and Michael had to leave the house about 6am Saturday morning. No one was ready for them to leave but we were all so thankful they were able to be with us for a few days. We felt so bad for Erica because she had to go home and only have about 3 hours before she had a closing shift at her work. Mom appreciated her sacrifice so much; I don't think Erica will ever know how much it meant to her.
Yesterday mom got ken to go up in the attic and get the boxes of our old clothes that mom made and some that were even hers. It was a special time to go through all that old stuff together. We got a little teary thinking about Erica not being with us but we called and talked to her. There are a few outfits I know haidyn will be getting her picture made in for sure:) We had a chicken cassarole of Sherry's for dinner which is Todd's favorite dish. After dinner Todd, Haidyn and I came home.
This morning we all got to go to church together. Haidyn really enjoyed showing GiGi and greatgrandmommie her dress up clothes and how sweet she can be in church. She was all smiles this morning for sure, right up to the very end. Josh's lesson was about being hungry for righteousness. It was a very good lesson for us today.
We went to Picadilly for lunch then everyone went home for naps, except Haidyn! She's been so spoiled lately because of company and we've felt bad for her having a stuffy nose that she didn't want to rest alone and Todd went hunting so I was left to entertain a spoiled and tired 3 month old-yay!
God has been so good to our family this year. He has blessed our family with extreme highs and also extreme lows. Out of our experiences we are now better able to empathize with others and celebrate the good God is creating even in tough situations. I know that I personally have found greater strength in God through answered prayers just in the last 3 months of motherhood and in the face of our battle with mom. God's love for us is amazing and the faithfulness is incredible. Everyday it is still a choice to look at the positive but everyday it gets easier. I don't know how many prayers I have lifted over the last 4 days for energy to help make everything well for our company and for mom to have strength and feel well enough to be with us and enjoy the time together. Mom is not use to being served because she is usually the service provider. I know it has been tough especially this week to be "Joan on the throne" but we have assured her we never expected her to entertain this holiday as she normally does. We look forward to her getting back to her normal self so that we can all be together again and mom be right in the middle of it all like she prefers to be. She has enjoyed many rest periods with Haidyn so I appreciate Haidyn being on the right pace with mom so they both would take rest periods that we didn't have to force on either of them so they would not wear down by the end of the day.
Its been the best few days, totally worth the weeks of planning, cleaning, cooking and anticipation for the time together. My prayer has been that everyone's circumstances are such that they have taken the time to loose count of their blessings just as we have. Our God is an awesome God and I want to enter his gates with thanksgiving in my heart when I meet him one day. Through this journey and my growing prayer life and scripture searching I have tried to focus my life on the real meaning that this world is not my home, these things are not mine nor do they define who I am and EVERYTHING is in God's control. When you look through those lenses, what freedom and love can overflow!
Friday Erica, Michael, Todd and I went black Friday shopping for everyone's list. We got home about 11 and needed a rest peroid! We hung out for a while then HR and I went to the house. Todd and Michael watched football at our house while Erica, Grandmommie and mom had a short outting together. We went back to mom's for dinner where Ken had cooked a wonderful chicken crock pot meal. We all went over to our house after dinner to celebrate Christmas together with Erica and Michael and grandmommie. We must have all been on the nice list cause Santa was very good to us all!
Erica and Michael had to leave the house about 6am Saturday morning. No one was ready for them to leave but we were all so thankful they were able to be with us for a few days. We felt so bad for Erica because she had to go home and only have about 3 hours before she had a closing shift at her work. Mom appreciated her sacrifice so much; I don't think Erica will ever know how much it meant to her.
Yesterday mom got ken to go up in the attic and get the boxes of our old clothes that mom made and some that were even hers. It was a special time to go through all that old stuff together. We got a little teary thinking about Erica not being with us but we called and talked to her. There are a few outfits I know haidyn will be getting her picture made in for sure:) We had a chicken cassarole of Sherry's for dinner which is Todd's favorite dish. After dinner Todd, Haidyn and I came home.
This morning we all got to go to church together. Haidyn really enjoyed showing GiGi and greatgrandmommie her dress up clothes and how sweet she can be in church. She was all smiles this morning for sure, right up to the very end. Josh's lesson was about being hungry for righteousness. It was a very good lesson for us today.
We went to Picadilly for lunch then everyone went home for naps, except Haidyn! She's been so spoiled lately because of company and we've felt bad for her having a stuffy nose that she didn't want to rest alone and Todd went hunting so I was left to entertain a spoiled and tired 3 month old-yay!
God has been so good to our family this year. He has blessed our family with extreme highs and also extreme lows. Out of our experiences we are now better able to empathize with others and celebrate the good God is creating even in tough situations. I know that I personally have found greater strength in God through answered prayers just in the last 3 months of motherhood and in the face of our battle with mom. God's love for us is amazing and the faithfulness is incredible. Everyday it is still a choice to look at the positive but everyday it gets easier. I don't know how many prayers I have lifted over the last 4 days for energy to help make everything well for our company and for mom to have strength and feel well enough to be with us and enjoy the time together. Mom is not use to being served because she is usually the service provider. I know it has been tough especially this week to be "Joan on the throne" but we have assured her we never expected her to entertain this holiday as she normally does. We look forward to her getting back to her normal self so that we can all be together again and mom be right in the middle of it all like she prefers to be. She has enjoyed many rest periods with Haidyn so I appreciate Haidyn being on the right pace with mom so they both would take rest periods that we didn't have to force on either of them so they would not wear down by the end of the day.
Its been the best few days, totally worth the weeks of planning, cleaning, cooking and anticipation for the time together. My prayer has been that everyone's circumstances are such that they have taken the time to loose count of their blessings just as we have. Our God is an awesome God and I want to enter his gates with thanksgiving in my heart when I meet him one day. Through this journey and my growing prayer life and scripture searching I have tried to focus my life on the real meaning that this world is not my home, these things are not mine nor do they define who I am and EVERYTHING is in God's control. When you look through those lenses, what freedom and love can overflow!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
November 28, 2009
Well it has very good Thanksgiving for us. Michael and Erica were not expected till midnight Wednesday night but they caught an early morning standby flight and made it by 2pm Wednesday. And that's when the fun began!
Thursday morning Haidyn and I got to mom's about 8:30am and everyone was still in bed. I put Haidyn in her sling and she helped me clean the bird and get him stuffed. She and I spent the morning counting our blessings while we worked. By the time grandmommie got up the bird was ready for the oven and Haidyn had lost count and decided to take a nap. I laid her down on grandmommie's bed so they could snuggle a while and visit.
Once everyone got up and moving it was time to start cooking the rest of the meal. Erica is a BIG scrapbooker and I bought her a little project to work on. She finished a holiday can to take home with my supplies. She was interested in my growing scrapbooking tool collection, Haidyn's scrapbook I finished for her but most of all my excitment in the hobby. Grandmommie, Ken and mom passed Haidyn around and visted while Michael and Todd came to our house to play video games.
About 2:30 we all came to the table to eat. There was turkey, dresssing, gravy, green beans, pinto beans, corn, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, fruit salad and corn bread. Whew- we did some good eating!
After lunch there were many rest periods as we planned black friday shopping plans.
Friday morning Haidyn got to slip in bed with GiGi before 5am and miss the shopping trips....
And that's where I passed out last night:) more to come-we are so thankful for the answered prayers. God is always good!
Thursday morning Haidyn and I got to mom's about 8:30am and everyone was still in bed. I put Haidyn in her sling and she helped me clean the bird and get him stuffed. She and I spent the morning counting our blessings while we worked. By the time grandmommie got up the bird was ready for the oven and Haidyn had lost count and decided to take a nap. I laid her down on grandmommie's bed so they could snuggle a while and visit.
Once everyone got up and moving it was time to start cooking the rest of the meal. Erica is a BIG scrapbooker and I bought her a little project to work on. She finished a holiday can to take home with my supplies. She was interested in my growing scrapbooking tool collection, Haidyn's scrapbook I finished for her but most of all my excitment in the hobby. Grandmommie, Ken and mom passed Haidyn around and visted while Michael and Todd came to our house to play video games.
About 2:30 we all came to the table to eat. There was turkey, dresssing, gravy, green beans, pinto beans, corn, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, fruit salad and corn bread. Whew- we did some good eating!
After lunch there were many rest periods as we planned black friday shopping plans.
Friday morning Haidyn got to slip in bed with GiGi before 5am and miss the shopping trips....
And that's where I passed out last night:) more to come-we are so thankful for the answered prayers. God is always good!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
November 25, 2009
God is good! Everyone made it safely here and erica and michael even got on standby flight and made it early. Haidyn has a congestion so she's not feeling her best but thankfully there have been plenty of volunteers around to help snuggle, spoil and soothe her today.
I am looking forward to making our bird tmrw morning and spending some quality time with some of my favorite people. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank you all so much for all the prayers. We are praying for the very best thanksgiving ever.
I am looking forward to making our bird tmrw morning and spending some quality time with some of my favorite people. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank you all so much for all the prayers. We are praying for the very best thanksgiving ever.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
November 24, 2009
Today was a better day for mom but the days right after the 3 drug treatment seem to be the roughest for her. She wanted to feel better for when everyone gets here so we are hoping she will sleep well tonight and be well rested. Erica called her tonight while we were having dinner and instructed mom to go to bed early so she will feel her best tomorrow for when she and Michael get here.
Mom was up to going with Ken to pick up Grandmommie from the airport. She had a good flight from Virginia. We are so happy she was able to come to visit us and will be here an entire week. She is worried about wearing out her welcome but little does she know we would love to kidnap her and keep her here to watch Haidyn grow. Haidyn loves her great grandmommie but I don't think she loves her as much as great grandmommie loves her. All grandmommie needed to see was those little brown eyes and she pronounced her little Emily Joan. She cannot see any of her daddy in her because all she sees is little me because of her dark coloring but Haidyn does look a lot like her daddy.
Today has been a better day for our family too. Todd was able to leave Haidyn at the babysitter longer and my day at work was less lost I guess you could say. God has been so good. We feel so fortunate to be in Memphis where the West Clinic is so that there is no travel for mom's treatments and we can all stay close. If you have never been to the West Clinic, I hope you don't need treatments there but I do recommend going for a visiting. It is so pretty in there and the people are the nicest in our town. I look forward to taking Grandmommie on Monday to see the clinic where mom gets her treatments. I know she will be so impressed with the facilities, staff and volunteers that make it such a wonderful place.
I hope that everyone is laying their head down tonight with the excitement of the holiday like we are. We have so much to be thankful for. Our God is so faithful and we are enjoying the blessings he provides for us everyday. and right now I am at mom's house watching Ken decorate this nice clean home like the north pole. We are breaking out in a Christmas wonderland as I type this.
Mom was up to going with Ken to pick up Grandmommie from the airport. She had a good flight from Virginia. We are so happy she was able to come to visit us and will be here an entire week. She is worried about wearing out her welcome but little does she know we would love to kidnap her and keep her here to watch Haidyn grow. Haidyn loves her great grandmommie but I don't think she loves her as much as great grandmommie loves her. All grandmommie needed to see was those little brown eyes and she pronounced her little Emily Joan. She cannot see any of her daddy in her because all she sees is little me because of her dark coloring but Haidyn does look a lot like her daddy.
Today has been a better day for our family too. Todd was able to leave Haidyn at the babysitter longer and my day at work was less lost I guess you could say. God has been so good. We feel so fortunate to be in Memphis where the West Clinic is so that there is no travel for mom's treatments and we can all stay close. If you have never been to the West Clinic, I hope you don't need treatments there but I do recommend going for a visiting. It is so pretty in there and the people are the nicest in our town. I look forward to taking Grandmommie on Monday to see the clinic where mom gets her treatments. I know she will be so impressed with the facilities, staff and volunteers that make it such a wonderful place.
I hope that everyone is laying their head down tonight with the excitement of the holiday like we are. We have so much to be thankful for. Our God is so faithful and we are enjoying the blessings he provides for us everyday. and right now I am at mom's house watching Ken decorate this nice clean home like the north pole. We are breaking out in a Christmas wonderland as I type this.
Monday, November 23, 2009
November 23, 2009
Well today was a hard day on everyone. I went back to work, Haidyn was with the babysitter, Todd missed his girls and mom didn't go to work today. She was still tired from her treatment Friday and church yesterday so she stayed home to rest up for her company. We are so excited about having grandmommie here tomorrow night and Erica and Mike Wednesday. I am worn out though.
Today as I sat at my desk I thought again about the choice to be sad I was at work or count my blessings and be grateful for all I have. Many asked about my mom at work today. These people don't know her but what a blessing to know they are praying with us. Mom is doing so well considering the treatments she has to undergo. We are able to be with her when we need to be and we talk several times a day. God is good! When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed, when you are discouraged thinking all is lost, count your many blessings see what God has done. What a blessed nation and people we are! Although there are things like cancer, addictions, job loss, accidental deaths and countless other stresses here in this world they will never outnumber God's blessings. Today of all days I had to choose to flip the coin and look at the shiny bright side rather than the dull side. Not an easy day because I wanted more than anything to be by my mom's side with my baby but we will all be together later this week.
We will be praying and thanking God especially for all of you as we gather as a family and pray together. Its only because of God's faithfulness that we are being so richly blessed while walking solely by faith in his healing power.
Today as I sat at my desk I thought again about the choice to be sad I was at work or count my blessings and be grateful for all I have. Many asked about my mom at work today. These people don't know her but what a blessing to know they are praying with us. Mom is doing so well considering the treatments she has to undergo. We are able to be with her when we need to be and we talk several times a day. God is good! When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed, when you are discouraged thinking all is lost, count your many blessings see what God has done. What a blessed nation and people we are! Although there are things like cancer, addictions, job loss, accidental deaths and countless other stresses here in this world they will never outnumber God's blessings. Today of all days I had to choose to flip the coin and look at the shiny bright side rather than the dull side. Not an easy day because I wanted more than anything to be by my mom's side with my baby but we will all be together later this week.
We will be praying and thanking God especially for all of you as we gather as a family and pray together. Its only because of God's faithfulness that we are being so richly blessed while walking solely by faith in his healing power.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
November 22, 2009
Well for the daily blog readers you probably noticed I missed a day and still didn't blog till 11 the next night, that is how busy I have been since I laid my head down Friday night.
Yesterday we got over to mom's about 11am, we played with Haidyn all day but mostly I prepped the guest bedrooms, baths and help get them cleaned up for company with them. They are officially Thanksgiving guest ready! Karen Shaw came over for a quick visit and brought them the best chicken lasagna and salad and bread. We have truly been blessed with the christian family that prays like you do.
Haidyn rode in her sling awake through most of the grocery shopping for the list we made yesterday. I know people thought I was crazy telling this little head with wide brown eyes every thing I picked up and put in the cart next to her curious eyes at the store but as tired as I feel I needed to talk to someone or I will fall asleep- haha. She fell asleep and slipped back out of sight in the checkout line; we weren't the only ones there today! Once we got to mom's I unloaded then we checked our list twice. What fun we've had just in the anticipation of everybody being together Thanksgiving. We are so thankful!
Today the sermon by Tom Alexander was tough because it is so much easier to say "Woe is me; God has forsaken me because of this circumstance or another." His lesson was on Psalms 100. Its a good read. The one thing that stood out to me is that our God is faithful. Just like a marriage contract- for better or worse you will faithfully have a loving spouse. God is faithful to the promises he gives us and we are in turn commanded to trust in Him and be thankful for all our gifts. The devotional for today was also about thankfulness also. It said God always plants the seed for blessings throughout our day but only when we walk in the light in peace that if we follow him will we be able to acknowledge the blessing rather than be in control of the outcomes and circumstances of life.
We have so much to be thankful for. All the horror stores and most honestly the truth for side effects in other patients that were VERY undesirable, mom has not suffered. This second round of Taxil has thinned her hair but she's still got her spunk :) As I cleaned and made beds yesterday she kept trying to come help me. I finally told her, "... take it to the couch and play with Haidyn or we were going to fight because she was insulting my teacher of domestic necessities by trying to help a capable willing volunteer." I finally just pulled her up a rocker and let her come SIT in the room I was in so she didn't miss anything. We had a good time and I know she feels confident that everything is done now that the house is ready and the groceries are bought and she is rested. I am really looking forward to having everyone together and cooking Thanksgiving together. We have so much to be thankful for.
I wish you all the best Thanksgiving week; it will be very busy for us. For those that feel like there is something about your season that just doesn't seem fair or thankful this family understands but....think again:) My mom has the best attitude. She is truly humbled by the acts of love and volunteers for service. She and Ken have said countless times how many kind words, emails, cards, small prayer tokens, text messages, phone calls, comments on the blog, prayers lifted and blessings recieved have humbled them and overwhelmed them. I concur! This family has a LOT to be thankful for, we just look harder for those blessings daily through prayer and real deliberations to walk in the light of faith in God's faithfulness to acknowledge them all because the devil is tempting us with fear constantly. I pray that God will keep the devil's fear away and continue to shower us all with peace in his faithful as we grow closer in our walk with him and each other over this holiday.
Yesterday we got over to mom's about 11am, we played with Haidyn all day but mostly I prepped the guest bedrooms, baths and help get them cleaned up for company with them. They are officially Thanksgiving guest ready! Karen Shaw came over for a quick visit and brought them the best chicken lasagna and salad and bread. We have truly been blessed with the christian family that prays like you do.
Haidyn rode in her sling awake through most of the grocery shopping for the list we made yesterday. I know people thought I was crazy telling this little head with wide brown eyes every thing I picked up and put in the cart next to her curious eyes at the store but as tired as I feel I needed to talk to someone or I will fall asleep- haha. She fell asleep and slipped back out of sight in the checkout line; we weren't the only ones there today! Once we got to mom's I unloaded then we checked our list twice. What fun we've had just in the anticipation of everybody being together Thanksgiving. We are so thankful!
Today the sermon by Tom Alexander was tough because it is so much easier to say "Woe is me; God has forsaken me because of this circumstance or another." His lesson was on Psalms 100. Its a good read. The one thing that stood out to me is that our God is faithful. Just like a marriage contract- for better or worse you will faithfully have a loving spouse. God is faithful to the promises he gives us and we are in turn commanded to trust in Him and be thankful for all our gifts. The devotional for today was also about thankfulness also. It said God always plants the seed for blessings throughout our day but only when we walk in the light in peace that if we follow him will we be able to acknowledge the blessing rather than be in control of the outcomes and circumstances of life.
We have so much to be thankful for. All the horror stores and most honestly the truth for side effects in other patients that were VERY undesirable, mom has not suffered. This second round of Taxil has thinned her hair but she's still got her spunk :) As I cleaned and made beds yesterday she kept trying to come help me. I finally told her, "... take it to the couch and play with Haidyn or we were going to fight because she was insulting my teacher of domestic necessities by trying to help a capable willing volunteer." I finally just pulled her up a rocker and let her come SIT in the room I was in so she didn't miss anything. We had a good time and I know she feels confident that everything is done now that the house is ready and the groceries are bought and she is rested. I am really looking forward to having everyone together and cooking Thanksgiving together. We have so much to be thankful for.
I wish you all the best Thanksgiving week; it will be very busy for us. For those that feel like there is something about your season that just doesn't seem fair or thankful this family understands but....think again:) My mom has the best attitude. She is truly humbled by the acts of love and volunteers for service. She and Ken have said countless times how many kind words, emails, cards, small prayer tokens, text messages, phone calls, comments on the blog, prayers lifted and blessings recieved have humbled them and overwhelmed them. I concur! This family has a LOT to be thankful for, we just look harder for those blessings daily through prayer and real deliberations to walk in the light of faith in God's faithfulness to acknowledge them all because the devil is tempting us with fear constantly. I pray that God will keep the devil's fear away and continue to shower us all with peace in his faithful as we grow closer in our walk with him and each other over this holiday.
Friday, November 20, 2009
November 20, 2009
Well today mom had her second round of the chemo. Sherry went and sat with her this treatment. Mom said they just sat and visited and caught up on everything while she took her treatment. She suprised herself that the benadryl didn't knock her right out like it usually does. Sherry is so much fun anyway I don't know why you would want to nap.
I got caught up with stuff at my house so I didn't go over but I was there last night. Haidyn and I are going to go over there early in the morning and spend most of the day preparing for our company this week. Mom sounded great when I talked to her. She was so excited about her visit with Sherry and all the family coming in next week I don't know if she went to bed early or not but she did say that they were looking forward to sleeping in so not to come early. Good for both of them!
The Lord is looking out for us. He continues to strengthen my mom and by your love she is encouraged to be a "poster girl" for lung cancer. I have every confidence she will do it too. I start back to work Monday so it will be an adjustment for us all. I do thank God everyday for the time I have been able to afford to have off both with my daughter and my mother. I am however considering a move to Canada before my second child; did you know their maternity leave is for a year?!
I got caught up with stuff at my house so I didn't go over but I was there last night. Haidyn and I are going to go over there early in the morning and spend most of the day preparing for our company this week. Mom sounded great when I talked to her. She was so excited about her visit with Sherry and all the family coming in next week I don't know if she went to bed early or not but she did say that they were looking forward to sleeping in so not to come early. Good for both of them!
The Lord is looking out for us. He continues to strengthen my mom and by your love she is encouraged to be a "poster girl" for lung cancer. I have every confidence she will do it too. I start back to work Monday so it will be an adjustment for us all. I do thank God everyday for the time I have been able to afford to have off both with my daughter and my mother. I am however considering a move to Canada before my second child; did you know their maternity leave is for a year?!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
November 19, 2009
Mom has made it into work 1/2 days everyday this week. We have had such a good week but tmrw is mom's chemo treatment again. So, we start over with the worst of the side effects but hopefully her body has adjusted well to the initial shock of the drugs. Her day will start very early at 8am check in to the clinic. She probably will not be home till after 5. Sherry wants to go sit with her this treatment so she will have good company while she is awake. Phil and Sherry prayed with mom today at just the right time. Steph brought over dinner and visited with her for a few minutes while I was there this evening.
I think everyone, in our family atleast, has our moments still of doubt. God has blessed us in so many ways but the devil is so smart for knowing your moments of weakness and crawling his unfaithful thoughts into our heads. I fight those moments everyday even after a month of dealing with this. I go back to work full time Monday. Although I am looking forward to being back to normal, I will miss my baby and my mom. I have really enjoyed the time I have been able to spend with her the last 5 weeks and more importantly serving her. My whole life she has given and served me and I feel so blessed that God has allowed me this time to bless her with my talents and company without the distraction of work.
We had a sermon when I was in the last few weeks before delivering Haidyn about being still and knowing that God is Lord. I thought then how restless I was to have my baby in my arms and just knew for sure God had forgotten how terribly uncomfortable the last weeks of pregnancy were and I would just be pregnant forever. Now that I am waiting to know if all these treatments are really working for my mom I am extremely restless about being still and waiting for God's answer. I am so thankful mom qualified for this clinical trial so we will have results in about 4 weeks to know what effect the drugs are having on the cancer. Psalms 27:13-14 "I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
That is so tough to do these days. Please pray for our continued faith in God's plan, the doctors and nurses that are treating mom and hundreds of others, mom's strength tmrw as she starts the chemo over and praise Him for the blessings he is pouring over us through the love and support you all provide.
I think everyone, in our family atleast, has our moments still of doubt. God has blessed us in so many ways but the devil is so smart for knowing your moments of weakness and crawling his unfaithful thoughts into our heads. I fight those moments everyday even after a month of dealing with this. I go back to work full time Monday. Although I am looking forward to being back to normal, I will miss my baby and my mom. I have really enjoyed the time I have been able to spend with her the last 5 weeks and more importantly serving her. My whole life she has given and served me and I feel so blessed that God has allowed me this time to bless her with my talents and company without the distraction of work.
We had a sermon when I was in the last few weeks before delivering Haidyn about being still and knowing that God is Lord. I thought then how restless I was to have my baby in my arms and just knew for sure God had forgotten how terribly uncomfortable the last weeks of pregnancy were and I would just be pregnant forever. Now that I am waiting to know if all these treatments are really working for my mom I am extremely restless about being still and waiting for God's answer. I am so thankful mom qualified for this clinical trial so we will have results in about 4 weeks to know what effect the drugs are having on the cancer. Psalms 27:13-14 "I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
That is so tough to do these days. Please pray for our continued faith in God's plan, the doctors and nurses that are treating mom and hundreds of others, mom's strength tmrw as she starts the chemo over and praise Him for the blessings he is pouring over us through the love and support you all provide.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
November 18, 2009
It was a huge day today. Mom went back to work till about lunch. She then went home for her two hour minimum rest period. I met them at the final dress rehearsal of the play at CBHS. The set was beautiful and they did an excellent job. By being at the rehearsal allowed her to see the play without being in a crowd. Todd left a little early and mom caught a ride home with him mid-way through the second act so Ken could finish the play. A few of their couple friends were with them so it was a tiring outing for her after working too.
I cannot believe the beauty and strength of my mom these days. She is simply unwilling to allow these treatments to hold her back from the things she loves. I enjoyed listening to her tell about the commercial shoot during the intermission. It will be fun to see her on TV; she's always been a celebrity to us :)
Our family is so excited that in a week we will all be together. Erica and I are going to cook the Thanksgiving meal- please reserve an extra few minutes in prayer to pray for the process and the outcome- haha. I believe mom is going to go to work tomorrow again then she has treatment Monday. I asked her tonight if she would just keep Haidyn for me on Wednesday when grandmommie is here since they live in the direction of my work. She told me she might feel up to that with a huge smile on her face.
Thank you so much for all your endless love, support and prayers. Because of your continual prayers our mom hasn't let this chemo get the best of her and she is breathing better everyday. Other than being tired she hasn't had many other complaints. Thanks be to God for answering our prayers and we are looking forward to being together as a family and mom will be strong enough to enjoy it with us. I too have been so motivated spiritually for the scriptures and dedication to praying that it is amazing the good that comes from something this scary. One round of treatment down; we start the second round Friday afternoon. Although the expectation was established in the first round I know I am holding my breath that the second will be as gentle to her while as aggressive as possible to the tumors in her body.
I cannot believe the beauty and strength of my mom these days. She is simply unwilling to allow these treatments to hold her back from the things she loves. I enjoyed listening to her tell about the commercial shoot during the intermission. It will be fun to see her on TV; she's always been a celebrity to us :)
Our family is so excited that in a week we will all be together. Erica and I are going to cook the Thanksgiving meal- please reserve an extra few minutes in prayer to pray for the process and the outcome- haha. I believe mom is going to go to work tomorrow again then she has treatment Monday. I asked her tonight if she would just keep Haidyn for me on Wednesday when grandmommie is here since they live in the direction of my work. She told me she might feel up to that with a huge smile on her face.
Thank you so much for all your endless love, support and prayers. Because of your continual prayers our mom hasn't let this chemo get the best of her and she is breathing better everyday. Other than being tired she hasn't had many other complaints. Thanks be to God for answering our prayers and we are looking forward to being together as a family and mom will be strong enough to enjoy it with us. I too have been so motivated spiritually for the scriptures and dedication to praying that it is amazing the good that comes from something this scary. One round of treatment down; we start the second round Friday afternoon. Although the expectation was established in the first round I know I am holding my breath that the second will be as gentle to her while as aggressive as possible to the tumors in her body.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
November 17, 2009
Today was a HUGE day for mom. She went to work till about noon. When she got home I called her and she was going to lay down for her 2 hour nap before her time slot at the commercial shoot.
I talked to Ken tonight and she was on the phone with my grandmommie. Ken said when she got there they had someone to come and fluff her hair and retouch her makeup before she was in front of the camera. He said they gave her an amercian express gift card as a thank you for participating. He sounded very excited and said mom was really tired.
Work then play, now that's my mom getting back to being my mom. What a wonderful day she had and it was so cold and cloudy today but the sun was shinning on mom. We have an amazing Lord who is really providing for our family in many ways.
Thank you all so much for the prayers- God hears and is answering.
I talked to Ken tonight and she was on the phone with my grandmommie. Ken said when she got there they had someone to come and fluff her hair and retouch her makeup before she was in front of the camera. He said they gave her an amercian express gift card as a thank you for participating. He sounded very excited and said mom was really tired.
Work then play, now that's my mom getting back to being my mom. What a wonderful day she had and it was so cold and cloudy today but the sun was shinning on mom. We have an amazing Lord who is really providing for our family in many ways.
Thank you all so much for the prayers- God hears and is answering.
Monday, November 16, 2009
November 16, 2009
Right as Haidyn and I pulled up to my mom's driveway my sister called. Mom was outside waiting on her girls so she got on the phone with Erica for a minute. We are all getting very excited about being together NEXT WEEK :)
Mom went to work for a little while today. She called me just after noon to let me know she was home. She was tired but feeling good about getting up and at em this morning. She and Haidyn "took a rest period" as mom calls it. She enjoyed pulling an old trick for getting me to sleep to work on baby girl.
Ken had a boys night out with a couple of his men buddies. Mom said it might be a beer bust minus the beer or bust- haha. Ken had to spend plenty of time with his girls though so the most important one laid on his chest and took another "rest period" while he watched the news.
God is really blessing our lives. Mom is scheduled for her commercial shoot for the West Clinic tomorrow. I think she is excited about it. I can't say enough or express our gratitude fairly for those people that work at the West Clinic. If you have never been there, you are missing out on some of the smartest and sweetest people in the world. We are taken away with mom's direct doctor and her research nurse; they are fabulous! The entire staff that we have encountered have been nothing but stellar in their field of medicine and character of people to literally treat others as they would want to be treated in the circumstance.
I pray daily that these people find their confidence and compassion from the same place we do- God. God promises to always be holding our hand guiding us with his counsel. After which God will lead us to glory and the cares of this world will never amount to the love we have for him to overcome through the strength he provides. How many can say they have strong enough faith in God that they can and will overcome all that we are faced with her to enter glory with him? Many would say they do not but many would say they do. I have ridden this fence for many years of my life through these circumstances I would say this family is strengthening their faith in the steadfast presence of God and the promise or peace in his love and promises.
Thank you all. Mom's heart bowl runneth over :) with cards. She is still enjoying all the emails, calls and prayers. We are blessed to have friends and family who love us and love the Lord to lift us in prayer as often as you do. Thank you!
Mom went to work for a little while today. She called me just after noon to let me know she was home. She was tired but feeling good about getting up and at em this morning. She and Haidyn "took a rest period" as mom calls it. She enjoyed pulling an old trick for getting me to sleep to work on baby girl.
Ken had a boys night out with a couple of his men buddies. Mom said it might be a beer bust minus the beer or bust- haha. Ken had to spend plenty of time with his girls though so the most important one laid on his chest and took another "rest period" while he watched the news.
God is really blessing our lives. Mom is scheduled for her commercial shoot for the West Clinic tomorrow. I think she is excited about it. I can't say enough or express our gratitude fairly for those people that work at the West Clinic. If you have never been there, you are missing out on some of the smartest and sweetest people in the world. We are taken away with mom's direct doctor and her research nurse; they are fabulous! The entire staff that we have encountered have been nothing but stellar in their field of medicine and character of people to literally treat others as they would want to be treated in the circumstance.
I pray daily that these people find their confidence and compassion from the same place we do- God. God promises to always be holding our hand guiding us with his counsel. After which God will lead us to glory and the cares of this world will never amount to the love we have for him to overcome through the strength he provides. How many can say they have strong enough faith in God that they can and will overcome all that we are faced with her to enter glory with him? Many would say they do not but many would say they do. I have ridden this fence for many years of my life through these circumstances I would say this family is strengthening their faith in the steadfast presence of God and the promise or peace in his love and promises.
Thank you all. Mom's heart bowl runneth over :) with cards. She is still enjoying all the emails, calls and prayers. We are blessed to have friends and family who love us and love the Lord to lift us in prayer as often as you do. Thank you!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
November 15, 2009
Wow, what a great day. We had the most perfect weather today here in Memphis. We got up and went to church. We had the nursery but Todd went on into the service. I didn't know till after it was over my mom was there! I couldn't believe that she made it but she did. She looked beautiful! I know she probably went home and took a good long nap but she was glad to be at services. She came in the nursery and held her girl for a few minutes before we went home.
God promised us that we would face troubles in this world but assured us he would be here for us to find peace in time of storm. Well, we have looked fear and troubles and the big C word in the face for 4 weeks now and have found peace only in God's love for us. I can't tell you how amazed I am at the strength of my mom and the desire she has to beat this cancer. She is planning on going into work again in the morning and working till about lunch. I told her when she gets home I will come over with Haidyn and put her down for a nap with GiGi and I will bring my steam cleaner to get all the floors cleaned in her house for her. We are on the countdown now till everyone gets here for Thanksgiving.
John 16:33- "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble but take heart! I have overcome the world."
Amen!!
God promised us that we would face troubles in this world but assured us he would be here for us to find peace in time of storm. Well, we have looked fear and troubles and the big C word in the face for 4 weeks now and have found peace only in God's love for us. I can't tell you how amazed I am at the strength of my mom and the desire she has to beat this cancer. She is planning on going into work again in the morning and working till about lunch. I told her when she gets home I will come over with Haidyn and put her down for a nap with GiGi and I will bring my steam cleaner to get all the floors cleaned in her house for her. We are on the countdown now till everyone gets here for Thanksgiving.
John 16:33- "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble but take heart! I have overcome the world."
Amen!!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
November 14, 2009
God is truly blessing us! Today we all went over to mom and Ken's and she hadn't showered yet. She said she had slept most of the day but was feeling really good after all that resting. Haidyn and I stayed for about two hours. Mom got her shower and fluffed her hair. She was looking forward to Leslie coming over to bring dinner because she actually felt well enough to get a hug from her. It was so good to see her in such high spirits the day after treatment. I asked her if she felt like she was still able to breath better. She said, "improving with every breath!" Absolutely amazing. She has some really good and some really tough days but all in all I think the experience has been better than we had hoped for. I know that it is the power of the countless prayers for my mom because other patients have very serious side effects with the exact same drug treatment. Mom had another stack of cards. She has enjoyed reading them to me and reconnecting with so many from my childhood. Thank you all for being so personal in your cards and emails. As you all know my mom is very social and active. Being stuck at home and isolated from her normal busy life, having these cards and emails to look forward to has kept her connected. She enjoys getting on her facebook and seeing what everyone is doing. Isn't technology wonderful :)
Thank you all for everything but most importantly the prayers. I am looking forward to being at church tomorrow to be with our church family. Todd and I have the infant nursery in the morning too! I am hoping mom might feel up to it in the morning.
Thank you all for everything but most importantly the prayers. I am looking forward to being at church tomorrow to be with our church family. Todd and I have the infant nursery in the morning too! I am hoping mom might feel up to it in the morning.
November 13, 2009
First off, please accept my apology for not posting last night. Second, yesterday was a good day! Haidyn and I went to mom's before her treatment. Mom got to change her first diaper for Haidyn. I left her for no more than 20 minutes with Mom and she created the worst mess of a diaper ever. Atleast mom will have a good story to tell. The weather was perfecy so mom really sitting outside letting the cool fall breeze hit her.
We dropped her off about 1 for her treatment at west clinic. Ken brought her home a little before 4. She was a little loopy but only from the benadryl. Susie stopped by to check on her too. I think she was looking forward to crawling in her bed with clean sheets and sleeping it off.
Todd and I got tickets to the basketball game. We took our little Tiger fan to her first game. She stayed awake the whole time taking it all in but fell asleep on the walk back to the car. When we got home I went to put her in her own bed and sat down in her floor to make sure she put herself to sleep and I ended up sleeping there myself. What a great day we had yesterday. I'm looking forward to calling mom in a little bit and see how she's feeling. Thank you all so much for the countless prayers- God is answering!
We dropped her off about 1 for her treatment at west clinic. Ken brought her home a little before 4. She was a little loopy but only from the benadryl. Susie stopped by to check on her too. I think she was looking forward to crawling in her bed with clean sheets and sleeping it off.
Todd and I got tickets to the basketball game. We took our little Tiger fan to her first game. She stayed awake the whole time taking it all in but fell asleep on the walk back to the car. When we got home I went to put her in her own bed and sat down in her floor to make sure she put herself to sleep and I ended up sleeping there myself. What a great day we had yesterday. I'm looking forward to calling mom in a little bit and see how she's feeling. Thank you all so much for the countless prayers- God is answering!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
November 12, 2009
Today was another good day, much better than the last two. I went over to mom's around lunch. Haidyn and I cleaned the kitchen while mom got a shower and got ready to run some errands. We were able to run by CHBS for mom to see the set Ken has been working on. This is one of her favorite shows.
Tomorrow I will take her for another treatment that should only take a couple hours. I could really see the dry skin on her face today indicating the drugs are working! She had the best time riding in the backseat talking to her baby as we were out a bit today.
The devotional book I have is "Jesus Calling". It gives you a focus for the day from a blending of scriptures througout the old testament and new. I have really enjoyed it. Today's passages said that God grieves when we don't accept his blessings. We will never deserve all that God blesses us with but that by his grace, mercy and love he provides it still. We are truly blessed in countless ways and at a time like this it would be so much easier to be angry with God. Thanks to all the encouragement and prayer we are all counting our blessings and praising God for the ways he continues to bless us daily. Mom is such a strong fighter and prayers are being answered.
Tomorrow I will take her for another treatment that should only take a couple hours. I could really see the dry skin on her face today indicating the drugs are working! She had the best time riding in the backseat talking to her baby as we were out a bit today.
The devotional book I have is "Jesus Calling". It gives you a focus for the day from a blending of scriptures througout the old testament and new. I have really enjoyed it. Today's passages said that God grieves when we don't accept his blessings. We will never deserve all that God blesses us with but that by his grace, mercy and love he provides it still. We are truly blessed in countless ways and at a time like this it would be so much easier to be angry with God. Thanks to all the encouragement and prayer we are all counting our blessings and praising God for the ways he continues to bless us daily. Mom is such a strong fighter and prayers are being answered.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
November 11, 2009
Today my devotional book started me off with just what I needed but I didn't know what the day would hold for me. It said not to let any circumstance intimidate me because God knows what strength I will need to make it through the day and he will empower me accordingly. It said that he doesn't empower us equally each day but that he empowers us based on two variables: the degree of the circumstance we are facing and our willingness to depend on him. Wow, what a bold God we serve!
I went over to mom's this afternoon so that Ken could go to school and get some stuff done on his set. His play opens next weekend at CBHS. He told me when I got there that mom should be waking in about 30 minutes but she didn't. After I had been there almost 2 hours I went to peak in her room at her. Yeah, that lasted all of 10 seconds before Haidyn wanted GiGi to know she was there so she let out a little happy scream. That scared mom awake but she was all smiles to see two of her favorite girls standing by her bed. We gave Haidyn a bottle and played with her for a while.
This is day 12 since mom's first chemo treatment. So far, so good. They told us about the skin rash from the Erbitux and that we want to see it because that is indication that is is working internally as well. She is starting to get that but its more like dry skin which is something mom and I are well acquainted with since we both have excema. They told her 10-14 days before we should know about hair loss and so far I don't think she has experienced any of that. She does have a couple of wigs which we had the best time putting on Haidyn this evening and taking pictures of her in them. The ones with her in the wig with her passy were the funniest to me. Mom and I could barely catch our breaths we were laughing so hard at her while Ken was trying to get the pictures. I hope that Ken posts some of them on his facebook for you guys to see. Haidyn is so funny; she knows when she sees the flash now that her picture is being taken and she likes it.
Other than extreme fatigue, some abdominal discomfort and the skin rash mom is doing really well. Each day has the potential for new side effects from the drugs so please continue to keep her in prayer that she will find peace with whatever she may face for that day. She is however still enjoying a better breath with every single breath she takes- praise God! We have so much to be thankful for still finding comfort with this illness is tough. I trust that God is holding my mom close in his arms and Ken too as they deal minute by minute with the illness, treatments and side effects of this drug. Mom's doctor is so compassionate and I appreciate you all for continuing to thank God for her spirit and wisdom to guide us through this battle. She is wonderful at prompt response day or night to mom via emails. What a blessing to have a doctor who makes herself available like this to answer easy and tough questions 24/7 personally.
Thank you all so much for the countless prayers and acts of love and support for all of us through this time. This has been an overwhelmingly humble experience for me personally just in the first few weeks of our journey to see that so many love my mom, our family and the Lord so much.
Psalm 105:3-4 "Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always." Our God is an awesome God.
I went over to mom's this afternoon so that Ken could go to school and get some stuff done on his set. His play opens next weekend at CBHS. He told me when I got there that mom should be waking in about 30 minutes but she didn't. After I had been there almost 2 hours I went to peak in her room at her. Yeah, that lasted all of 10 seconds before Haidyn wanted GiGi to know she was there so she let out a little happy scream. That scared mom awake but she was all smiles to see two of her favorite girls standing by her bed. We gave Haidyn a bottle and played with her for a while.
This is day 12 since mom's first chemo treatment. So far, so good. They told us about the skin rash from the Erbitux and that we want to see it because that is indication that is is working internally as well. She is starting to get that but its more like dry skin which is something mom and I are well acquainted with since we both have excema. They told her 10-14 days before we should know about hair loss and so far I don't think she has experienced any of that. She does have a couple of wigs which we had the best time putting on Haidyn this evening and taking pictures of her in them. The ones with her in the wig with her passy were the funniest to me. Mom and I could barely catch our breaths we were laughing so hard at her while Ken was trying to get the pictures. I hope that Ken posts some of them on his facebook for you guys to see. Haidyn is so funny; she knows when she sees the flash now that her picture is being taken and she likes it.
Other than extreme fatigue, some abdominal discomfort and the skin rash mom is doing really well. Each day has the potential for new side effects from the drugs so please continue to keep her in prayer that she will find peace with whatever she may face for that day. She is however still enjoying a better breath with every single breath she takes- praise God! We have so much to be thankful for still finding comfort with this illness is tough. I trust that God is holding my mom close in his arms and Ken too as they deal minute by minute with the illness, treatments and side effects of this drug. Mom's doctor is so compassionate and I appreciate you all for continuing to thank God for her spirit and wisdom to guide us through this battle. She is wonderful at prompt response day or night to mom via emails. What a blessing to have a doctor who makes herself available like this to answer easy and tough questions 24/7 personally.
Thank you all so much for the countless prayers and acts of love and support for all of us through this time. This has been an overwhelmingly humble experience for me personally just in the first few weeks of our journey to see that so many love my mom, our family and the Lord so much.
Psalm 105:3-4 "Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always." Our God is an awesome God.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Neovember 10, 2009
We finally got to see mom today for the first time since last Friday. Haidyn and I went over about 11:30 so I could make lunch for mom. She gave Haidyn a bottle while I made her lunch. She said she didn't over- do it yesterday but she doesn't want to so she stayed home today. After lunch I did a little picking up and cleaning then I ran some errands for mom while she rested with Haidyn. When I got back they were napping so I did a little scrapbooking. I am totally hooked to the scrapbooking since Erica introduced me in September. I am going to make mom a scrapbook for Christmas now that I have finished Haidyn Rae's baby scrapbook.
Mom got another half dozen cards in the mail today. After she read them Ken put them in a heart shaped pottery bowl that he made. Ken told her that her heart is almost full. I know he was talking about her bowl but her literal heart is full too which all the love and encouragement everyone has sent to her. There were several phone calls while I was there checking on mom. I am amazed everyday with the outpouring of support for us. I can't thank you all enough for loving us and praising God for holding us in his hand and blessing us the way he has.
Mom got another half dozen cards in the mail today. After she read them Ken put them in a heart shaped pottery bowl that he made. Ken told her that her heart is almost full. I know he was talking about her bowl but her literal heart is full too which all the love and encouragement everyone has sent to her. There were several phone calls while I was there checking on mom. I am amazed everyday with the outpouring of support for us. I can't thank you all enough for loving us and praising God for holding us in his hand and blessing us the way he has.
Monday, November 9, 2009
November 9, 2009
I am typing this on my blackberry from the floor of my daughter's nursery as I am trying to transition her to sleeping in her own room this week. This experience makes me love and appreciate my mom all the more:)
About 9am I got a call this morning on my cell from a number I didn't recognize. I amswered and it was my mom. She said, "I know you would be calling me to check on me soon and I didn't want you to worry about where I was, I'm at work!" At first I thought it was a joke but then I remembered she called from a new number so it was true. She said she had talked to the doctors and told them that she wanted to come in for a little while just to feel normal again. They made her promise not to overdo it and welcomed her to come back to work.
I called her after lunch and asked her how it went. She said she left a little before lunch and that she was taking a nap. She sounded tired but good. She had taken some new pictures of Haidyn with her to show her buddies. She said they kept a close eye on her and she would see if she felt like going in tmrw. How amazIng is that? Ten days into treatment and my mom decides she's strong enough to go back to work for a little while. We feel so blessed that mom is feeling better and that she has the kind of love and support of her 2 doctors, Dr Ijams and Dr Turner, and their entire staff to pray without ceasing for her healing and to keep so a close watch on her while allowing her to work when she feels up to it these days.
I haven't seen mom since Friday but everyday I have talked to her and she sounds stronger than the day before. Tmrw I will have to go over there and see her. Thank you all so much for the countless prayers that have been lifted. God is answering in a powerful way!
About 9am I got a call this morning on my cell from a number I didn't recognize. I amswered and it was my mom. She said, "I know you would be calling me to check on me soon and I didn't want you to worry about where I was, I'm at work!" At first I thought it was a joke but then I remembered she called from a new number so it was true. She said she had talked to the doctors and told them that she wanted to come in for a little while just to feel normal again. They made her promise not to overdo it and welcomed her to come back to work.
I called her after lunch and asked her how it went. She said she left a little before lunch and that she was taking a nap. She sounded tired but good. She had taken some new pictures of Haidyn with her to show her buddies. She said they kept a close eye on her and she would see if she felt like going in tmrw. How amazIng is that? Ten days into treatment and my mom decides she's strong enough to go back to work for a little while. We feel so blessed that mom is feeling better and that she has the kind of love and support of her 2 doctors, Dr Ijams and Dr Turner, and their entire staff to pray without ceasing for her healing and to keep so a close watch on her while allowing her to work when she feels up to it these days.
I haven't seen mom since Friday but everyday I have talked to her and she sounds stronger than the day before. Tmrw I will have to go over there and see her. Thank you all so much for the countless prayers that have been lifted. God is answering in a powerful way!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
November 8, 2009
We went to early service this morning and Ken was able to make it this morning but mom was not. The lesson today was from the Psalms of the lamented. It was a lesson that I really did need this morning because it is hard to accept bad things happening to good people. Josh was right when he said we would probably do better to accept if good things happened once in a while for bad people instead of really bad things happening to good people.
The last song was Blessed Be Your Name. The second verse of that song is what really stuck with me throughout the day.
"When the sun is shinning down on me, When the world's 'all it should be', Blessed be your name. Blessed be your name. On the road marked with suffering, Though there's pain in the offering, Blessed be your name. Blessed be your name. Every blessing your pour out I'll turn back to praise. When the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say, Blessed be the name of the Lord. Blessed be your name. Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be your glorious name."
Its hard to sing blessed be your name when your road is marked with suffering but so easy when we are having blessings poured out on us. In the beginning of all this I think we all asked God in the back of our minds "Why me Lord?" Now that we are 3 weeks from that day it is a lot easier to sing blessed be your glorious name when we see all the ways God is blessing us. Mom's treatments are going very well. All the family will be here and together for the holiday. We are a closer family that is praying more together and sharing more of ourselves. Most importantly, we have been shown so much love and encouragement over the past 3 weeks from all of you. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
The last song was Blessed Be Your Name. The second verse of that song is what really stuck with me throughout the day.
"When the sun is shinning down on me, When the world's 'all it should be', Blessed be your name. Blessed be your name. On the road marked with suffering, Though there's pain in the offering, Blessed be your name. Blessed be your name. Every blessing your pour out I'll turn back to praise. When the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say, Blessed be the name of the Lord. Blessed be your name. Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be your glorious name."
Its hard to sing blessed be your name when your road is marked with suffering but so easy when we are having blessings poured out on us. In the beginning of all this I think we all asked God in the back of our minds "Why me Lord?" Now that we are 3 weeks from that day it is a lot easier to sing blessed be your glorious name when we see all the ways God is blessing us. Mom's treatments are going very well. All the family will be here and together for the holiday. We are a closer family that is praying more together and sharing more of ourselves. Most importantly, we have been shown so much love and encouragement over the past 3 weeks from all of you. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
November 7, 2009
My husband's aunt sent me a great book in the mail this week that has really helped channel my readings daily. Thanks Aunt Sandy! I shared this book with my mom yesterday and she liked it too. Today I read from Psalms 27. The last verse stuck with me through today. Psalms 27:14- "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." That is so hard to do when we think we control our lives. I am so glad that mom is tolerating the chemo drugs so well so that we will get results after 2 cycles instead of having to wait on all 6 cycles.
We did not see mom today but I did talk to her on the phone this afternoon. She sounded more like herself than she has sounded in about a month. She said that Sherry came over and so did Susie. She said she had a bit more energy today but no one was home with her to play- haha.
I am so proud of her strength. She sounded awesome today. I asked her if she thought she would make it to church in the monring and she said no. They talked to her about being in big crowds right now because of her red blood count. I am sure we will go by and see her when we get out. I am so glad our services can be viewed online for her so she isn't missing it.
Thank you all for everything. I am amazed at the power of the Lord and the prayers that are being lifted in our name.
We did not see mom today but I did talk to her on the phone this afternoon. She sounded more like herself than she has sounded in about a month. She said that Sherry came over and so did Susie. She said she had a bit more energy today but no one was home with her to play- haha.
I am so proud of her strength. She sounded awesome today. I asked her if she thought she would make it to church in the monring and she said no. They talked to her about being in big crowds right now because of her red blood count. I am sure we will go by and see her when we get out. I am so glad our services can be viewed online for her so she isn't missing it.
Thank you all for everything. I am amazed at the power of the Lord and the prayers that are being lifted in our name.
Friday, November 6, 2009
November 6, 2009
We went to mom's about an hour before she left for her treatment today. She was up and had her cute new haircut fluffed up. I took she and Ken a decent sampling of my turkey from last night as a preview for Thanksgiving to have tonight for dinner. Once they left Haidyn and I cleaned the house and waited for them to return. Ken brought mom home around 4:30. They give her benadryl as part of her pre- meds which really knocks her out. She was a bit drowsy when they got home but still feeling well.
We were talking about Thanksgiving plans before I left. She said that while she was at the clinic the research nurse asked her how she felt after last week's treatment. She told her she wished she had more energy but if that is the only thing she could complain about then she has a lot to be thankful for. The nurse agreed. The nurse told her that she has another patient that started the same treatment last week as well who spent the next 4 days after treatment in bed and sick. Praise God that my mom is tolerating the chemo meds well and fatigue is her only complaint. She was so scared of being really, horribly sick as they described to us could be possible on this chemotherapy drug.
Mom, Ken and I have gotten so many emails and comments on my blog. Some telling of survivors stories to encourage, some just letting us know they are praying and/or thinking about us, some thanking me for my ability to blog but yet others saying that my blog has brought them closer to God. I am honored that I can help others see Jesus at a time when I am struggling daily to trust in him. I cannot take credit for my ability to write- thanks to the Harding English teachers who never gave up on me and taught me how to write: Mrs. Rubio, Ms. Tidwell, Mrs. Sanders and Mrs. Donaldson. You ladies really have a gift to teach with love and to show Christ in all you do as well. It's hard with all the influences I have had in my life not to see God's amazing love because I have had so many christian influences such as these ladies in my life. I am blessed to not only have parents that love the lord but parents who surrounded me with examples of others who loved the lord as well. I know exactly how important it will be for me to do the same for my daughter so that one day when she is struggling to accept God's will she will have so many that love her to pray for her and encourage her as you all have.
Thank you all for your trust in God's plan, for lifting us up in prayer daily to him, for encouraging and loving our family in countless ways, and for praising God for never leaving us and providing us peace when the devil tempts us to fear. We are looking forward to a great weekend together. I am hoping that mom may even feel up to making it to church Sunday with Haidyn for the first time :)
We were talking about Thanksgiving plans before I left. She said that while she was at the clinic the research nurse asked her how she felt after last week's treatment. She told her she wished she had more energy but if that is the only thing she could complain about then she has a lot to be thankful for. The nurse agreed. The nurse told her that she has another patient that started the same treatment last week as well who spent the next 4 days after treatment in bed and sick. Praise God that my mom is tolerating the chemo meds well and fatigue is her only complaint. She was so scared of being really, horribly sick as they described to us could be possible on this chemotherapy drug.
Mom, Ken and I have gotten so many emails and comments on my blog. Some telling of survivors stories to encourage, some just letting us know they are praying and/or thinking about us, some thanking me for my ability to blog but yet others saying that my blog has brought them closer to God. I am honored that I can help others see Jesus at a time when I am struggling daily to trust in him. I cannot take credit for my ability to write- thanks to the Harding English teachers who never gave up on me and taught me how to write: Mrs. Rubio, Ms. Tidwell, Mrs. Sanders and Mrs. Donaldson. You ladies really have a gift to teach with love and to show Christ in all you do as well. It's hard with all the influences I have had in my life not to see God's amazing love because I have had so many christian influences such as these ladies in my life. I am blessed to not only have parents that love the lord but parents who surrounded me with examples of others who loved the lord as well. I know exactly how important it will be for me to do the same for my daughter so that one day when she is struggling to accept God's will she will have so many that love her to pray for her and encourage her as you all have.
Thank you all for your trust in God's plan, for lifting us up in prayer daily to him, for encouraging and loving our family in countless ways, and for praising God for never leaving us and providing us peace when the devil tempts us to fear. We are looking forward to a great weekend together. I am hoping that mom may even feel up to making it to church Sunday with Haidyn for the first time :)
Thursday, November 5, 2009
November 5, 2009
Well today mom had a big day. I called and checked on her schedule for the day this morning. She and Susie went out to look at wigs together and get lunch. I think Tricia went by and visited with her as well. I talked to her late in the afternoon to tell her I was testing my turkey roasting skills and she sounded really tired.
I talked to Ken tonight about 8:30 and mom was already asleep. I am glad she is able to get some rest. Tomorrow she will go at 1pm for another treatment. She will only get the Erbitux tomorrow so it should not be as harsh for her physically. I am interested to see how she reacts to just the clinical trial drug. I am going to go over tomorrow morning with Haidyn and work on their house again. I think it is good for her to come home to a fresh and clean home. It always makes me feel better, especially when I have clean sheets :)
As I have watched my mom's strength fade but her courage grow in the past 3 weeks I know it is Christ strengthening her through the prayers that are being raised on her behalf. Phil. 4:13- "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." I am humbled by the overwhelming response of prayers for my mom. I always thought she was the best but its awesome to see that so many agree. I am so proud of my mom. As I prayed and read my bible I found this verse which gave me peace to make it through today. Isaiah 30:15- "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength." Thank you God for the reassurance that if we are still and put our faith in your plan that you will provide all our needs, including strength when we feel weak, scared, and helpless. We serve an awesome, powerful and loving Lord who never leaves us. What a good feeling to know that he is always there with us from birth to death. He is a God of miracles and we are lifting my mom, the doctors and all those suffering from cancer up to him asking him to heal their bodies.
It will never be enough to tell you all thank you but it is the best I can do. We are so thankful for all the acts of love but most importantly for the prayers. God is good always!
I talked to Ken tonight about 8:30 and mom was already asleep. I am glad she is able to get some rest. Tomorrow she will go at 1pm for another treatment. She will only get the Erbitux tomorrow so it should not be as harsh for her physically. I am interested to see how she reacts to just the clinical trial drug. I am going to go over tomorrow morning with Haidyn and work on their house again. I think it is good for her to come home to a fresh and clean home. It always makes me feel better, especially when I have clean sheets :)
As I have watched my mom's strength fade but her courage grow in the past 3 weeks I know it is Christ strengthening her through the prayers that are being raised on her behalf. Phil. 4:13- "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." I am humbled by the overwhelming response of prayers for my mom. I always thought she was the best but its awesome to see that so many agree. I am so proud of my mom. As I prayed and read my bible I found this verse which gave me peace to make it through today. Isaiah 30:15- "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength." Thank you God for the reassurance that if we are still and put our faith in your plan that you will provide all our needs, including strength when we feel weak, scared, and helpless. We serve an awesome, powerful and loving Lord who never leaves us. What a good feeling to know that he is always there with us from birth to death. He is a God of miracles and we are lifting my mom, the doctors and all those suffering from cancer up to him asking him to heal their bodies.
It will never be enough to tell you all thank you but it is the best I can do. We are so thankful for all the acts of love but most importantly for the prayers. God is good always!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
November 4, 2009
Haidyn and I went over to mom's about 11 to hang out with her today so Ken could feel free to work at school. I was able to finish Haidyn's scrapbook while mom and Haidyn took a nap. Sherry brought over a scripture scrapbook that she made for mom. It was so pretty! Mom read some of the scriptures aloud; she did a great job! Patsy hadn't seen mom since her diagnosis and called while I was there. She brought over a gift for Haidyn and got a hug from mom.
About 4 mom and I went over to Susie's for her to cut mom's hair. She got a shorter do. They put the curlers in and fluffed her up before I took her home. Mom was really tired when I dropped her off. I was surprised she didn't fall asleep in the backseat with Haidyn on the 10 minute ride home :)
The treatments are really wearing mom out but she is slowly accepting her new reality and adjusting well. She enjoys the animal planet and the old shows. Today she watched murder she wrote with Haidyn- I remember watching that with mom when I was little. The lady called her about the commercial for the West Clinic that she will be participating in. Mom is excited about the shoot that will be in a couple of weeks. We are getting ready for Friday's treatment. It will be much shorter than her first and she shouldn't have the same side effects of the chemo.
I can't say thank you enough for all the kind gestures but most importantly the prayers. We are so blessed. Thank you Lord for the avenue of prayer. I know that my prayer life has increased over the last 3 weeks and I feel closer to the spirit of God. We are so blessed and continue to receive blessings daily.
About 4 mom and I went over to Susie's for her to cut mom's hair. She got a shorter do. They put the curlers in and fluffed her up before I took her home. Mom was really tired when I dropped her off. I was surprised she didn't fall asleep in the backseat with Haidyn on the 10 minute ride home :)
The treatments are really wearing mom out but she is slowly accepting her new reality and adjusting well. She enjoys the animal planet and the old shows. Today she watched murder she wrote with Haidyn- I remember watching that with mom when I was little. The lady called her about the commercial for the West Clinic that she will be participating in. Mom is excited about the shoot that will be in a couple of weeks. We are getting ready for Friday's treatment. It will be much shorter than her first and she shouldn't have the same side effects of the chemo.
I can't say thank you enough for all the kind gestures but most importantly the prayers. We are so blessed. Thank you Lord for the avenue of prayer. I know that my prayer life has increased over the last 3 weeks and I feel closer to the spirit of God. We are so blessed and continue to receive blessings daily.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
November 3, 2009
Well friends we are praising God. Today was better than yesterday and we are praying for tomorrow to be better than today. Mom is slowly accepting and adjusting to her slower pace and things are going very well. Haidyn and I stayed home getting a lot of things done today but we spoke on the phone several times. There were a few errands that had to be run and I believe mom was able to get out and ride with Ken. That's probably the the longest run mom has had at staying in the house. They said that a wonderful weight watchers dinner was brought over for them tonight and they enjoyed it very much. She sounds so much stronger. I can't wait to see her tomorrow and have her perform her deep breathing for me again. I told her we should video document it but I think she's afraid I will post it- haha :)
We have never had cancer in our family so this is all so new to us. I guess I was just naive to the fact that cancer has no bias and is not fair. Its kind of like when I had my wreck; I learned a new understanding of devastating physical injures and the strength it takes to accept being so weak. From this I have a new outlook on cancer victims and the strength in cancer survivors. I don't have to have the cancer in my body to now understand by watching my very active mom be grounded by this illness. I admire her strength to be so weak. When I was there 5 years ago it was mom who encouraged me daily not to give up and that I would gain my strength again. In case I haven't thanked her enough through the life I now lead- mom, I love you for being my rock on which I found my strength when I was physically down.
We appreciate all the continued cards, emails, text messages, FB comments, phone calls, comments on the blog, food but most importantly prayers! For those out of town mom and Ken's address is 3111 Milkyway Bartlett, TN 38134 if you would like to send cards. Prayer warriors are the best friends to have. Won't it be fun when we all get to heaven and we can ask God how he managed all the prayers we lifted to him :) May God bless all of your families. God is always good!
We have never had cancer in our family so this is all so new to us. I guess I was just naive to the fact that cancer has no bias and is not fair. Its kind of like when I had my wreck; I learned a new understanding of devastating physical injures and the strength it takes to accept being so weak. From this I have a new outlook on cancer victims and the strength in cancer survivors. I don't have to have the cancer in my body to now understand by watching my very active mom be grounded by this illness. I admire her strength to be so weak. When I was there 5 years ago it was mom who encouraged me daily not to give up and that I would gain my strength again. In case I haven't thanked her enough through the life I now lead- mom, I love you for being my rock on which I found my strength when I was physically down.
We appreciate all the continued cards, emails, text messages, FB comments, phone calls, comments on the blog, food but most importantly prayers! For those out of town mom and Ken's address is 3111 Milkyway Bartlett, TN 38134 if you would like to send cards. Prayer warriors are the best friends to have. Won't it be fun when we all get to heaven and we can ask God how he managed all the prayers we lifted to him :) May God bless all of your families. God is always good!
Monday, November 2, 2009
November 2, 2009
We are all amazed at the power of these drugs. Mom is already breathing better already. She was "performing" for Ken and I showing us how deep she could take a breath today without coughing. It is unbelievable how improved her ability to take a breath is from just 3 weeks ago. She is pretty worn down from the chemo therapy however no pains, no nausea and no illness. God is good!
She read me emails and cards she has gotten today while I was at the house. We talked about Thanksgiving plans and just spent time watching the little one. Erica and Michael are going to be coming from Phoenix as well so we will all be together again. I can't wait for us all to be able to share a meal and pray together and thank God for all the ways he has and is blessing our family.
It has been a long day but a good day. Mom is adjusting from her very fast paced life to being a couch potato as she calls it. She was flipping through the channels on TV this morning and said there was a woman on some show that was a lung cancer survivor. She said she was talking about her treatments, recovery and now her research and awareness participation. This woman is a music teacher and plays the saxophones! Mom was encouraged by this story. She said she is going to look her up online soon and learn more about this woman.
I can't even begin to tell you all how good God is- because most if not all of you already know. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you all for lifting our family up in prayer and praising God for all the blessings. Mom is so tough and she will survive this cancer that is growing with in her.
She read me emails and cards she has gotten today while I was at the house. We talked about Thanksgiving plans and just spent time watching the little one. Erica and Michael are going to be coming from Phoenix as well so we will all be together again. I can't wait for us all to be able to share a meal and pray together and thank God for all the ways he has and is blessing our family.
It has been a long day but a good day. Mom is adjusting from her very fast paced life to being a couch potato as she calls it. She was flipping through the channels on TV this morning and said there was a woman on some show that was a lung cancer survivor. She said she was talking about her treatments, recovery and now her research and awareness participation. This woman is a music teacher and plays the saxophones! Mom was encouraged by this story. She said she is going to look her up online soon and learn more about this woman.
I can't even begin to tell you all how good God is- because most if not all of you already know. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you all for lifting our family up in prayer and praising God for all the blessings. Mom is so tough and she will survive this cancer that is growing with in her.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
November 1, 2009
Today was a beautiful day. We went to church this morning and the lesson from Josh was about praising God. Our family has so many things to praise God for these days. He has blessed us with the most loving, encouraging, faithful praying friends and family; God has answered so many prayers already.
After lunch Haidyn and I went over to check on mom since I hadn't talked to her all day. When I called to let them know we were on our way over, Ken told me mom was soaking in her tub. She told me when I got there that she did enjoy relaxing in her tub today :) She felt a little more weak today so she slept in and had a nap but all things considered she still had a good day. The chemo treatment seems tolerable at this point- PRAISE GOD!
She enjoyed telling me about some of the people she has connected with through phone calls and emails the past week. Mom held Haidyn for a little while and started a bottle with her. Ken finished the bottle and held Haidyn next to mom and Haidyn showed them all her smiles while she made her happy baby noises.
For all that were around when we found out we were pregnant you probably know that I said I wanted a boy. When we found out it was a girl and she was healthy I never thought again about wanting a boy. In the past few days as I have prayed for understanding of our situation and begged for peace. What I have realized is exactly why God blessed me with a daughter. My mom has two daughters and Erica and I couldn't be any more different. There is one thing that we both share and that is a love for and faith in God. God knew I needed a daughter and mom needed a granddaugter at this time in our lives. Mrs. McCarver, your right- Daughters Rock! I want to teach my daughter to love God and others the same as my mom has taught me. I have some huge shoes to fill as a mom in the years ahead as I raise my daughter. It doesn't get any better than the mom I have. And it doesn't get any better than our heavenly father's love.
Everyday I make peace a little more with this cancer but I am still hurting for my mom. If I could take just a day of this for her, I would. If I could take it all for her, I would but I can't. This is God's plan and he is blessing us in so many ways. Erica and I are blessed to have strong christian husbands who love our mom about as much as we do. I know we are praying with our husbands for our mom. Thank you for praying in your homes and with your families for our mom too. A family that prays together stays together. May God bless all your families as much as he is blessing ours. Thank you all for everything but most importantly for praying for my mom's healing and praising him for blessing us.
After lunch Haidyn and I went over to check on mom since I hadn't talked to her all day. When I called to let them know we were on our way over, Ken told me mom was soaking in her tub. She told me when I got there that she did enjoy relaxing in her tub today :) She felt a little more weak today so she slept in and had a nap but all things considered she still had a good day. The chemo treatment seems tolerable at this point- PRAISE GOD!
She enjoyed telling me about some of the people she has connected with through phone calls and emails the past week. Mom held Haidyn for a little while and started a bottle with her. Ken finished the bottle and held Haidyn next to mom and Haidyn showed them all her smiles while she made her happy baby noises.
For all that were around when we found out we were pregnant you probably know that I said I wanted a boy. When we found out it was a girl and she was healthy I never thought again about wanting a boy. In the past few days as I have prayed for understanding of our situation and begged for peace. What I have realized is exactly why God blessed me with a daughter. My mom has two daughters and Erica and I couldn't be any more different. There is one thing that we both share and that is a love for and faith in God. God knew I needed a daughter and mom needed a granddaugter at this time in our lives. Mrs. McCarver, your right- Daughters Rock! I want to teach my daughter to love God and others the same as my mom has taught me. I have some huge shoes to fill as a mom in the years ahead as I raise my daughter. It doesn't get any better than the mom I have. And it doesn't get any better than our heavenly father's love.
Everyday I make peace a little more with this cancer but I am still hurting for my mom. If I could take just a day of this for her, I would. If I could take it all for her, I would but I can't. This is God's plan and he is blessing us in so many ways. Erica and I are blessed to have strong christian husbands who love our mom about as much as we do. I know we are praying with our husbands for our mom. Thank you for praying in your homes and with your families for our mom too. A family that prays together stays together. May God bless all your families as much as he is blessing ours. Thank you all for everything but most importantly for praying for my mom's healing and praising him for blessing us.
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