December 29, 2009

The last few days have seemed to fly by. Let's see....Saturday Haidyn showed us that Santa brought her the first tooth. Sunday we went to late service then straight to Southaven to be with the Cox side of the family. I really missed mom at church and when we were with the family but it was good to spend time with them all. It was very special to me to hold to Ken's hand as we as an entire family prayed over the meal and mom; Thank you Uncle Tom :) It was so much fun to be together and share the meal, the kids, the tree and presents as well as the hugs and laughs. Mom was missed and was certainly missed by all.
Yesterday I was off as well. I went to Hancock's Fabrics and got us some projects to work on together. As she shared her christmas gifts with me I began to draw out my finds. Mamaw came over and got to experience mom teaching me how to use her sewing machine. She and Erica have sewn together before but NEVER me and mom. She laughed as she showed me how to thread the machine and said, "well em, I never thought I would be showing you how to use my machine. Your sister would die to know what I am doing right now. She won't believe you have learned to scrapbook and sew in one season." For those of you who truly know my mom, you know how beautiful she can sew and how honored I felt to have her show and allow me to use her machine :) We spent hours sewing ribbons on burp cloths and creating soft/silky squares with ribbons for Haidyn to chew and drool on. It was a blast.
Uncle Tom, Aunt Marsha, Uncle Freddie, Cody and Brit came by only long enough to get a hug as they picked Mamaw up to go back to Alabama. It was sweet that they wanted to see her only for a quick hug. We are so blessed to have such a loving, supportive and encouraging family every step of the way that are praying for us and with us. I can't imagine what this would be like without everyone that has shown us the love and support and prayed with us for mom's healing.
Haidyn has found her voice and I called mom this afternoon so she could hear Haidyn "talking". Mom said next year we will be saying, "No, Haidyn!" a lot. I told her that we won't either because Haidyn will be sitting on her lap being spoiled rotten smiling at her GiGi. It is the most wonderful time of year.
Mom has another Erbitux treatment tomorrow. I am glad its not the 3 drug treatment tomorrow for her. I will also be glad when she goes back to Friday treatments so she can continue to work as she enjoys doing. God has blessed her not only with good response to the drugs but tolerance physically so she has experienced little pain. Please continue to pray for her healing, the doctors and nurses overseeing her care and all families suffering with the pains of cancer. Thank you so much for all the christmas cards, messages, emails, phone calls and prayers through this season. We are a richly blessed family.

December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas to all. We had a quiet but relaxing Christmas. I was up till 2am last night putting the finishing touches on Todd's mom's mini-scrapbook I gave her as a gift so this little elf is tired! We got up early and went to Todd's parents first. We left at noon and went to mom's.
When we got there Haidyn had been asleep about 45 minutes or so. When we left at 3, she was still snoozing! We left with steaks to make dinner at our house. At 6:30 mom and Ken came over for dinner; Haidyn was asleep again! They think we drug her but she really does only sleep, eat and bathe. Right before our dinner was ready she woke up in time to get granddaddy to give her a bottle before we sat down to dinner. She watched everyone from her bouncy seat and was the center of attention. After dinner we sat in front of the fireplace and played scrabble. Haidyn became the life of the party making her happy noises laying between Todd and me on the loveseat. I simply can't get enough of watching my mom watch and play with my baby. You can't tell who's happy anymore because Haidyn has big smiles too.
God has been so good and blessed us in countless ways. This year has been extreme but I am thankful for my family both immediate and spiritual. I am most thankful for your prayers and for God's healing powers within my mom. She still has good days and some bad, those are more like bad moments not full days anymore. We are officially 1/2 way through the treatments now. We are focused on beating this cancer and are reaching for God's hand of peace and healing every step of the way. I didn't get to tear open many presents today and get excited about the contents of the box but I did get to hug and kiss my beautiful mom, share a meal, entertainment and my baby on Christmas in our home. God is good always and I am most appreciative on God's guidence for the doctors and nurses who have administered the drugs that are healing mom's body and for your prayers. God is answering and blessing!

December 24, 2009

Last night was Haidyn's first night away from home. Todd and I had dinner downtown and a Christmas gift exchange with some of our besties so Haidyn got to stay at GiGi's. We went to Kyle's art showing at church and met up with Ken. Then we went to house to drop Haidyn off.
Mom was so proud and full of herself if I do say so. She had moved Haidyn's pack and play into her room. She has a space heater running in there too so it would be plenty warm for her baby. Haidyn fell asleep about 7:15 and it was 8 when we got there and she was still snoozing. I got all the baby bath stuff out and went over bathtime and the bedtime routine with mom. I thought for sure she would wake up as soon as we left the driveway.
I got a text about 10:20 that she had stirred a little so granddaddy took her out of her carseat and let her rest on his chest. When we decided a couple hours later to go to bed they just laid her down in her pack and play and she kept right on sleeping. Ken said mom was up about every 15-20 minutes checking on her. Finally about a quarter to 4 she woke up, took a bottle, got her diaper changed, burped and went right back to sleep. At 8 when I got there GiGi was giving her another bottle.
I think Haidyn had a perfectly good time there but GiGi and granddaddy were a little upset that they barely got to see her little brite brown eyes with all that sleeping. Mom said finally this morning when she woke up she was sweet and happy but I was on my way to get her. I think she was tired from watching Haidyn sleep all night but I guess that's what new grandparents do:) She told me over and over how much they enjoyed her and how thankful she was that she could keep her for us. I think she thought we would come pick her up when we realized how quiet our house was without her but her GiGi needed her. All day long through her treatment she was probably thinking of her getting to keep her first granddaughter for the first time!
What a wonderful time of year this has been. God has been so good to us and continues to bless us. Its amazing to think back to just last year and how much has happened since. If you would have told me a year ago I had a baby growing in me and mom she had cancer growing in her we never would have believed it. We would have been scared to death of 2009. Well, it has been a scary year with extreme emotions from high to lows but God has never left our side. He has cried with us and you through the shock and pain of mom's cancer and laughed and celebrated new life with us all over Haidyn's arrival. God has shown his faithfulness to us through the love, support and prayers of all our friends and family. I never would have thought I could say 9 weeks ago that this has been the best year yet- but it has. And every day it keeps getting better. With great anticipation I am looking forward to 2010; to the celebrations and pain because through it all God is there holding our hand as he leads us through his plan. Learning to trust more, believe only by faith and love more deeply everyday have been things I have learned in 2009 that I will not slip away as I enter the years to come. I hope that everyone finds the peace and assurance in God's love as our family has learned this year. We can never keep up with the gifts God has blessed us with but we are appreciative.

December 21, 2009

I don't think I have even talked to mom today. It is tough coming home from your first road trip with a 3 month old- exhausting. I feel like I have been playing catch up all day long but mom has been on my mind. I talked to her last night and she was anxious to know how Haidyn did on her first road trip. I was so proud to report to her that she slept almost the whole 11 hour round trip. Mom says that is because she had a talk with her before she left about enjoying her ride in the car seat so she won't miss out on fun things.
My day to day desk calendar had the perfect bible verse today for me when I walked in to work. Matthew 17:20- "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed you can say to this mountain, "move from here to there," and it will move. Nothing will be immpossible for you." My mom has that kind of faith. It is inspiring to say the least but she is asking God to move her mountain. All the prayers that are being lifted to God are begging for more faith in his healing powers to restore mom to a cancer free life and he is answering. I have thought of my mom several times today and stopped to pray for faith like hers before praying for her healing. Thank you so much for your prayers that are giving her this strength and faith.
We are looking forward to being together later in the week with Todd family and with Ken's family. When we went to Alabama over the weekend we stayed Friday night with my Aunt Marsha and Uncle Freddie. Mamaw and Haidyn got to see each other twice in one week :) They are looking forward to coming to Southaven this year for Christmas and us all being together. I am glad mom isn't going to have the 3 drug treatment before Christmas. She will have just the Erbitux treatment tomorrow then a nap before she and Ken babysit for the first official time while we go out to dinner with some friends. I know she will be ready for the treatment to be over tomorrow so she can get home and rest before her baby gets there.
My hope is that everyone will have a very merry Christmas. That families be close and make memories to last a lifetime like I know our family will be doing this week.

December 17, 2009

Mom took a day of rest today and I am so glad. Having the 3 drug treatment typically takes a little more out of her. Todd, Haidyn and I am going to Alabama to spend the night with Aunt Marsha and fam so Mom and Ken came over to get hugs and kisses. Mom brought one of my baby outfits over along with a new dress that grandaddy got her yesterday while he was out shopping. Mom got to watch Haidyn take a bath in her jacuzzi tub. She loves her bath and mom enjoyed watching her splash and make happy baby noises.
We are all still very much on a high from the good news yesterday. I am in shock, literally, of the progress mom is making. Even Todd said when they stopped by tonight that mom looked so good. I forgot to mention in yesterday's blog, the first thing the doctor said when she came in is that she loved mom's new hair do. It looks so good. I am going to have to get some pics of her and Haidyn next week on her first Christmas and post them.
I have a lot of packing to do so this will be short and sweet- THANK YOU! God is an awesome God. He has heard all your prayers and is answering with healing power and peace for mom and our entire family.

December 16, 2009

Today has been another long but very exciting day for us. Today was mom's day to have the 3 drug treatment. She had to be at the clinic at 7:45 to start her pre meds. They told her she could meet with Dr B at 8:15 so of course, I went straight there to hear the news from the horses mouth with her and Ken.
We waited on the doctor for a while so that gave us time to visit and she and Ken more time to familiarize themselves with their new phones and ask me plenty of questions I did not know the answer to about how to work them :) When the doctor came in with the reasearch nurse we were good and ready to receive some excellent news, and we got it!
The very first thing that she told us was the fluid that was around mom's lungs is completely gone! She said she normally does not see that decrease until much later if at all. Praise God! That fluid is what was causing her not to have the quality breathing and had sent her to the doctor in the first place. Secondly, the tumors have reduced in size about 14%. Mom and I are very visual so although we understood what she was saying, we wanted to see it. Mom asked her if we could see the CT scan and she said sure. At first she told us she couldn't give us a split screen from Oct to Dec but after playing with it a few minutes, she figured it out on the computer and was able to show us. This was a totally different perspective that I never expected. Instead of it being vertical, like you see xrays, this was horizontal. So as she scrolled through the film it was from stomach to chest showing the lungs in horizontal "slices" if you will. It was quickly apparent the improvements that had taken place in just 6 treatments! I knew Dr B probably wishes mom and I hadn't all but sat in her lap to see the computer screen while Ken sat back with the worlds most content look of his face but she graciously continued to show and explain what we were seeing. God is so good! Both Dr B and the research nurse told us over and over what good and a little bit suprising news this was. I loved it when Dr B was listening to mom's lungs she told her how much better she sounds. As she listened to the 2nd lung she patted mom on the back and said, "show off", with a smile on her face.
We chatted about Christmas plans. Shared pics of Haidyn with Santa, aka Granddaddy, and asked a few more questions about mom's reports. Later when I talked to mom she told me how much more she appreciates Dr B everytime we meet with her. I think I said early on she was not our 1st choice doctor but we were so impressed with her initial consult we felt God had placed her in our lives for a reason. With every step of this journey we are assured this was no accident and surley God's hand at work.
Mom didn't get home till about 5pm. When I talked to her on my way home from work she told me about reuniting with a lady she had gone to church with in Huntington after she was married to my dad but before they had Erica. She said she recognized the woman and told her who she was. They were sitting side by side receiving their treatments. She said that her conversation with her not only helped to pass the time but gave her such peace and encouragement. She said that the woman told mom she has never asked God to make her cancer free. I know that was a shock for me and it sounded like it was for mom too because we're praying for it ALL to be gone. She said that everyone in her family was healthy, she's lived a long and happy life, she looks forward to heaven and if this is what takes her then she has peace with that. Mom said she just never thought of it that way. She said maybe she does love being here on earth serving God more than she longs for the heavenly home and she will think more about that. This friend of my mom's is a 2 time cancer survivor, still undergoing treatments and living with cancer who is at peace with God in her faith of her mansion, robe and crown awaiting. What an amazing faith and how wonderful she was there to share the time, her experience and faith with mom today. I know I will be saying prayers of thanksgiving for days to come for mom's suprise visit with her friend she had not seen in over 30 years till today.
We have learned more than we ever wanted to or thought we would about lung cancer since Oct 19th, 2009. God has never left us and been by all of our sides every day and every minute of the day along the way. He has shown himself in countless ways through the doctors, nurses, test results, volunteers, suprise visits, your calls, emails, hundreds of cards, comments and many other acts of service and love. Walking with Him through this storm has been our comfort and stay. Some days when I have felt overwhelmed with fear of cancer for my mom I have thought of and read the story of the disciples on the sea with Jesus in their boat sleeping and they were scared to death. They woke Jesus and Jesus spoke to calm the sea. Many days I have scared beyond words of the outcome for us and remembered to pray for that kind of peace and although I can't hear Jesus or see him say, "Peace be still" I feel His presence and His peace come over me. Never before, in my life, have I had the fear I have experienced in the last 2 months or felt a peace like this. Even 5 years ago through my car accident and months of recovery afterward I never found these levels of reliance in God. That's probably because I had my mom every hour of every day for months praying for my healing, strength, comfort and perseverance while she sat by me encouraging and nursing to me always. I am SO proud of my mom and thank God in every prayer for my opportunity to return her love and show her the outcome of her 28 years of mothering in me. Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be His glorious name! He has been so good to us and is forever faithful when we trust in His ability to see us through big and small.
I know we will all go to bed with smiles on our faces and prayers of thanksgiving and praise on our hearts tonight. I hope mom and Ken have taken the times to hold one another a little tighter today and pray together a prayer of thanks for today's report and the reminder of His faithfulness for mom's visit and testimony of faith through her friend. It seems insincere since I have said it so many times but I can't say it enough, thank you! Thank you from all our family and my mom for loving, caring and praying for all of us and that God will restore mom's health, for her to have as little pain as possible while she regains her strength and her life back to normal.God is answering your prayers in our lives daily in ways we never imagined. He allows us the fear and sweeps in with peace. Its truly amazing and humbling the range of emotions and the depths of love we have been showered with even before the full diagnosis. I think this time of year everyone, especially Christians, think back on the year and the blessings we have received. Though many celebrate this as a relgious holiday season my prayer is that I will forever more celebrate this and every season of the year for God's sacrifice of Jesus, his faithfulness to be in constant relationship with us, his peaceful presence and his promise of heaven in the end. I know mom has a beautiful mansion, robe and crown in heaven and when we all get there she will be inviting us all over all the time but I would just as soon have her here in her beautiful home just 6 miles away from mine, in her satin robe that Haidyn loves to snuggle up to cause its like her silkies, and in her cute hats the volunteers have given her to keep her head warm instead of a crown with us here for an unforseeable length of time. Thank you for your prayers that make that wish seem more and more possible each day. May God bless you today and forever in the same ways he is blessing us!

December 14, 2009

Well we must have worn mom out taking our Christmas card pictures at her house Saturday night because she didn't make it Sunday morning to church. Mamaw didn't seem to mind holding Haidyn during church though. Mom did get to feeling better by last night and made it to the children's musical at church.
Today mom went to work for about 5.5 hours. She is getting stronger every day and amazing me at how much working she is doing both at the office and at home. Getting those preliminary results was such a blessing because now we know she is not just feeling better but she IS better. Her full work up should be available Wednesday when she goes for her next treatment. My office is within a mile from the clinic and I told her to let me know what time they were going to go over it with her because I want to come be with her.
On mom's way home from the office today she met me and I gave her some enlargements of pictures of Haidyn that were taken yesterday. She was so sweet yesterday afternoon and it was just sunny enough outside where I didn't have to use a flash. She was thrilled with the pics. I think the only thing that could have trumped that would have been hearing her laugh out loud. She finally did it tonight for her daddy and me. I picked up the phone as soon as she did it and called mom. I know its killing her to have to wait till tomorrow night to see her and hear her new laugh but it gives us all one more thing to look forward to tomorrow.
God is so very good and is continuing to bless us in so many ways. Thank you for your love, supports and PRAYERS!

December 12, 2009

Mamaw was in town with us today so Haidyn had another day of endless spoiling. Mama and I rode out to Arlington to the cutest baby boutique Shelley told me about and shopped for Haidyn. GiGi got Haidyn her smocked Christmas dress. We could have stayed in there for hours but mom and Haidyn were tired so we got what we came for and went home.
Dinner was brought over by one of the couples in mom and ken's small group. Todd came over and we all ate dinner with Mamaw together at home. I think memories around the table are some of the most special and we certainly have caught up on those lately. I hope we continue to eat around the table at home together and share that time with Haidyn as she grows up.
Mom is feeling better every day. I don't think she got her nap and she's kinda like Haidyn, she needs a nap! After dinner although mom was tired she was excited to help ken take our family pictures for our christmas cards. It was so much fun getting haidyn in some of my old clothes and taking her picture. We made a lot of great memories today.
I am looking forward to us all being at church again tomorrow together with Mamaw too! I am glad that haidyn is here with us now so instead of kicking me and making me so uncomfortable in church like she did all summer I can pass her over to my mom and watch both of them just light up. Worshiping together is something I don't take for granted because I have always enjoyed my mom's singing and the discipline we had sitting on the pew next to her. It will be interesting to see if haidyn gets to put her feet on the floor or look behind us like mom didn't allow me too since haidyn is the grandbaby. Mom seems to be much softer on her than she was for Erica and me.
God is good! We thank you all for continuing to keep us in prayer. We have counted mom's cards and she is nearing 200! Hallmark is loving her right now but never as much as she is loving checking the mail box for her daily dose of encouragement from all of you. The notes in the cards are so special and mean so much to mom. Thank you for sharing your stories, your lives, and your prayers with us during this time. God is answering, the cancer is shrinking and we will win this battle to restore mom's health.

December 10, 2009

Today was a long and exhausting day but it ended with some very good news. Mom was able to drive herself to her CTscan first thing this morning. After they did the scan she went home to lay down before going to work. About 4 this afternoon I got a text from mom. The final test results will not be completed till early next week however the preliminary results indicated the tumors have shrunk 16-20%! I just sat and cried tears of joy when I read the text message. Mom has only had 2 full rounds which is 6 treatments of 6 full rounds. We are amazed at the results. We knew it was working because mom's breathing was so much better but actually having the proof is such a relief. Her next treatment will be next Wednesday and she will have the chemo drugs in that session.
After I got off work, mom was still sleeping so I waited till about 7:15 to call and find out mom had woken up. Haidyn and I went over to show her some love. She hadn't seen us since Saturday so she was excited to see her babies. Haidyn did all her cute tricks like smiling, popping her mouth, standing and bouncing and buzzing her lips. Mom and Ken just ate her performance up till she got tired and we had to go home. Mom has a new wig that Ken picked out for her that is SO cute. I could tell immediately that mom seemed more comfortable in this one too. It has more spunk to it than the other. I am so glad she has found something that really fits her.
The West Clinic gave mom a DVD with all 3 versions of the commercial on it. Ken played them for me. In two of the three mom is simply laughing and smiling. In the third mom has a speaking part but she is laughing in that one too. I want to try and find a way to upload it to the blog so everyone can see my beautiful celebrity mom :)
God has been so very good to us. The power of all the prayers lifted is amazing. He is healing mom physically and all of us emotionally.
The devotional for today said to seek your security in the Lord. In the darkness of life you are able to more clearly see His face, when you are focused on Him. Accepting the value of adversity in this life and accepting it as joy is the true test of your faith. Faith that you have a life-time of trouble-free living awaiting us in heaven is the right perspective in this life. That is so difficult to accept sometimes because you want to go through all the human emotions of adversity but that is what sets Christians apart. We look to the Lord for the security to find peace with this world from the road rage driver who gives us anxiety on the way to work, dealing with cancer diagnosis/treatment, financial upset, broken homes, addictions, abuse, accidents and everything in between that give us fear, anger, pain and disappointment.
God is good. He has heard the prayers for my beautiful mom. He has given her strength and she has trusted in her doctor's and God's ability to guide their hand as they treat her. His impact in so many lives through this pain is amazing to me on a daily basis. Knowing that he understands our pain because he himself experienced this when he provided the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus for us. Its easy to forget sometimes that God knows pain because he suffered watching his only son die a cruel death and his heart breaks for everyone who chooses not to worship him. That must be terrible pain to sacrifice your only son for those that refuse to return his love and worship Him.
Everyday I am overwhelmed with the continued cards, emails, text messages, comments and all the other countless ways mom and Ken are being supported through our journey with mom to battle the cancer. We are being loved and prayed over many times a day across the nation and even by some people who probably don't know us well. We can't show our gratitude enough for the faith in God and his healing power. Please continue to pray mom's treatments will continue to be a success. We are praying for a miracle and thankful for every blessing along the way.
This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it!

December 9, 2009

Mom had a really good day. She called Todd early and got him on the books for a teeth cleaning at 1pm. When I talked to her she sounded fabulous this morning. She ended up staying at work till about 3 which is a pretty long day for her. When she got home she told Ken that she was really tired but she felt good and she felt like staying and getting some work done. That's my mom. I couldn't be more proud of her. She has such a strong attitude. I am praying for amazing new at the end of the week:)

December 7, 2009

What a long day. Atleast I fell asleep early with my baby for a couple hour nap this evening:)
Mom took herself to her Erbitux treatment today. I called a couple times to check on her and she said she was fine. I think she building some tolerance to the benadryl. Coming from someone who can take 3 at a time then do laundry, grocery shop and come home and keep going-it can be done. So this was the 6th day of treatment. Thursday is the CATscan and friday we get results and will be celebrating. We already know mom is breathing better but we want facts.
God is always good. My grandmommie has the most positive outlook on it all, just like mom and I pray that we will not be let down. One thing is for sure no matter what the outcome Friday- this family has been waking by faith and learning every day to trust in God's faithfulness. We will never be disappointed in his love for us! Please continue to pray- we are asking for a miracle but He is more than able.

December 6, 2009

We are on our way home from Waverly. Todd was out there from Thursday afternoon till today with Daniel. They were hunting the John. Yesterday at dusk Todd dropped a doe so mom is really looking forward to some deer meat soon.
Seeing everybody at church this morning was awesome! So many people asked about mom I couldn't even remember them all to tell her. I got hugs from people I haven't hugged in years and was way overdue for some loving from them. Of course, no one gave credit to Todd for being little Haidyn's daddy because they saw her dark eyes and remembered me when I was that tiny. Everyone said she looks just like me but she really does look like Todd. They all commented on how happy Joan must be to finally be a grandmother and have the sweetest granddaughter. Mr Price made my day though, he told me Haidyn is pretty but I am still the prettiest baby he's ever seen. Gotta love that!
To have that many people know you since your birth, baby sit you, teach you about God from cradle roll and up, share priceless memories of things we did together and things I did with their kids growing up still love you almost 30 years later as much as when you were in their everyday lives is a humbling experience. You don't take time to appreciate those relationships and memories until you distace yourself- return and remember 100's more memories. Thank you God for the church at Waverly, their undying love and faithful hearts who look to your love as an example. Counting my blessings today with this rush of gratitude for my mom raising us in such a wonderful place with the best people here on earth would be a pointless cause, I can't keep that kind of count!
I am so glad Todd got to experience Grace and John and all that Waverly offers this weekend. It makes me proud. I am proud that I got to introduce Todd too. I told Todd on the way home that we are a very rich family and always have been. The things you can put a price on in life are not the things that make you rich, its the things that are priceless like a lifetime of love and prayer through relationships like we have been blessed with from these people that make us some of the richest people on earth. I hate that Todd will never be able to go back and have people who have known him since birth show him love but I think he felt some of it getting hugs to take back to mom and see how these people love my mom and my sister and I and instantly adored Haidyn.
I can't wait to get home and tell Mom all about it. Our short phone call was not enough. We will be hugging for a while just so I can give her all the love that was sent to her from them. When mom gets more energy it will be a lot of fun to go back with her and Haidyn and do it all over again. Thank you God for blessing my mom with their love and support for the last 30 years. They have a lot to do with how she raised us and who we are today. I could never deserve a gift like that! I hope that Todd and I will build the kind of family for Haidyn where she can do this one day with her family. I believe our church family at Sycamore View will be that place for her. I bragged on our church family all morning and everyone said how happy they are that Mom has that kind of local support there for her through this but she has a lot there with them too. They can't wait to see her but for now I showed off our pics from last weekend.
God is always good!!!

December 4, 2009

It has been a long week for me, 4 days in a row at work since August! I finally feel like I am catching back on to the job that I have had for almost 2 years. Mom is regaining her strength from her last treatment and has gone to work 4 days in a row too. Haidyn even went to the babysitter 4 days in a row so it has been a week of adjustment for us all as we try to find our new normal.
Mom got to see the commercial today. Ken told me there atleast 2 versions. They come on channels 3 and 5 we know for sure. Ken even recorded one so he and mom have watched it together. I STILL have not seen it but hopefully I will tmrw.
Todd and Daniel are still in Waverly hunting. They weren't planning on coming home till Sunday afternoon so Haidyn and I are going to drive over tmrw afternoon, spend the night and go to church Sunday with Grace and John. I can't wait to see so many faces that helped my mom raise me and Erica and have known me since birth. I wish I could give everyone who reads this and prays for us hugs daily but Sunday I will get to do that for some that I have not seen in years. I wish mom felt up to riding with me but that's a lot for her right now. I will be bringing her love and appreciation in spirit with me. Before we leave tmrw I have to take Haidyn to mom's to show off her new monogrammed onsie that says I love my GiGi.
As I sat and talked with Mrs McCarver tonight about my mom and her relationship with hers, I realized how much I have to be thankful for. I am fortunate to have friends like Mrs McCarver who have been through similar experiences and who understand the emotions I have and know just the right prayers to lift for me and my mom. God has blessed us with so many people like the Lillard family and my friend MaryAnn in Knoxville who is married to a cancer survior of more than 10 years who understand and encourage us daily. There are so many more I could name specifically and I feel blessed to be able to go visit some this weekend and thank them from the bottom of our hearts.
Our God IS an awesome God and he does reign in heaven and earth with wisdom, power and love. Thank you God for your love for us and for giving us each other to help us here on Earth to make it home with you in heaven in the end.

December 3, 2009

Good day, I think that goes for us all. Mom went to work and was still there at 1 o'clock when I called to see how her day went- it was still going. Of course she went home and crashed soon there after, as she should have. She called tonight to check on Haidyn and see how we are doing. Todd left for a weekend hunting trip today so I think he enlisted mom's supervision of his girls like he normally does. Todd and mom have such a special relationship and I could not be more glad for it. She adores him and he adores her right back. She never gave birth to a son but she has two son in laws that she loves like her own and who return that same love. God has certainly blessed Erica and I with christian husbands who truly are family. Mom won't ever call them son in laws- she calls them both HER boys. It doesn't get much better than that.
Ken has seen the commercial now but mom and I still haven't. I went on the West Clinic website today to see if they had a link to the commercial, they dont. I think they may be giving mom a copy and if they do I will try to post it. Everyone has told me how beautiful my mom is in the commercial and I have no doubt that she is!
The devotional today said that the evils of this world will fight to seperate us from the peace of God but he is with us in every battle. All we have to do is call on the name of the Lord and he is there. Every knee shall bow and every tounge confess that Jesus Christ is Lord when he returns to take all those who have sought him home to the mansions, robes and crowns we have been promised. As I read the devotional this morning I kept thinking about a song we sing at Sycamore View often and I caught myself several times today at work, driving in traffic and even dancing with Haidyn singing, "Be strong and courageous and do not be afraid. The Lord goes before you each and every day. He'll never forsake you. Oh, don't be afraid. He'll never forsake you. Oh, don't be afraid. The Lord goes before you through the troubles and strife and he will protect you all the days of your life. He'll never forsake you. Oh, don't be afraid." Its hard not to be afraid every single day for multiple reasons, not just cancer and its treatments but its more than comforting to know that he will NEVER forsake us even when we forsake him! What an unconditionally loving God. We just can't experience that love anywhere other than with God. Whatever your fears are, God knows and is prepared to go before us and protect us but only when we trust him to do so. I pray that God will keep our minds from the fears and our eyes focused on him and the faith of his healing powers daily for mom. My mom is my best friend, role model and the best GiGi ever to my baby and God is healing her through the power of your prayers. Thank you! Ken would never be as strong as he is through this without your prayers. Mom's sons would never have the strength to support Erica and I if it weren't for your prayers. And Grandmommie would never ever have accepted this diagnosis and come to the understanding and comfort with mom's condition, treatments and her ultimate healing if it weren't for your prayers. From all of us, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We are not forgetting to thank God for everything that has been done for each of us in our prayers, you are a blessing!

December 2, 2009

Although it was a very messy day here weather wise I think we have all been on somewhat of a cloud. Mom's commercial has hit the airways! We have had a lot of calls and texts that mom was on the tv but I don't think we have seen it. My sister in law, Stacey, sent me one of the sweetest text today telling me how beautiful mom looked on the commercial giggling and how great her smile is. I am SOOOO proud of my mom but not for her beauty or her radiating smile but for her attitude, example, and faith. She has lived everyday of my life as a role model. Everyone knows she is human so there have been times that I am sure she wishes I weren't watching her so closely but I am soaking up every moment and every experience with her now and praying that God is using every opportunity to teach me and help me learn to be a woman, mother and wife as worthy as my mom.
Isn't it amazing how God can take something as frightening as a sudden diagnosis of cancer and make it a blessing? I am sure there are some in the world that accept a cancer diagnosis as a death sentence, pity themselves, blame everyone and deny themselves the peace that God offers us. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by love, encouragement and prayer to keep those thoughts far away and flood our lives with overwhelming peace and love. In the devotional for today it said that God surrounds us with his peace. When we are still and enjoy walking through life with him as our companion providing steadfast peace that passes all understanding we have reached the relationship that God calls us to. There are certainly seasons of my life when I recognize I was not in companionship with God and because of those times I have come to appreciate these times when I can truly see and feel God's peace. My Aunt Marsha and I were talking this morning and it is blatant the ways that God has moved through this journey with us giving us shelter from fear and peace in the process we are following. He know just what we need.
Next Thursday is mom's CAT scan to look at the markers and see what kind of effect the drugs are having on the tumors. We can't wait to celebrate the success of the drugs and the healing power of God. Mom went to work again today and stayed half the day then came home to rest. Todd had to take Haidyn to the doctor today because she is still congested and spitting up. She is healthy, we are changing her formula and she is over 3 months old now and weighs 9lbs 12ozs. She is staying little for GiGi so while mom's treatments wear her down and weaken her physical strength she will still be able to hold and rock Haidyn without any additional physical strain. I think that is such a sweet gift Haidyn is giving GiGi :) Once mom gets her strength to play more and sing to her and go on walks she will start putting on more weight but for now she is happy being just the right size for mom to enjoy her most. When I went to pick Haidyn up from mom's tonight, they were snuggled in mom's chair all toasty and content. I hated to wake her immediately although I hadn't seen her in almost 12 hours but it was super sweet to sit and chat with mom while watching her love on my baby.
God is so good! Its hard to focus on our fears when we are focused on his promised peace. Almost every day I have a moment of doubt, fear and still anger that get the best of me but I have fewer today than yesterday and will have less tomorrow than today. Being at work away from my mom has been the hardest but it is good for both of us to have more normal times so we don't focus on the doubt and fears. I wish my sister and Grandmommie could be here more with us because they would really appreciate this time with mom. This is the longest she has stayed in town and not on the go that I can remember in years. I am thanking God for every moment together because I have been trying to get on mom and Ken's social calendar for years :)
Thank you all for the unending love, encouragement, cards, emails, texts, comments, food, visits and prayers that we are more appreciative of than you can ever understand. I fall to my knees many times a day in prayer thanking God for our support on this journey to healing for mom.

December 1, 2009

Well today was a sad day, Grandmommie went home. I am so glad I wasn't the one to take her to the airport because I would have cried the whole way. Todd took her and made sure she started her trip home off right. Mom went to work this morning and worked till about lunch. Haidyn missed great grandmommie all day. Shelly said she only slept about an hour all day, she didn't want to miss it if grandmommie came back- haha.
Today's devotional thought was God has everlasting love which flows from eternity. It said that we have lost the perspective of eternity. This is true. Until the last 6 weeks I can honestly say that I didn't live my life like today could be my last. I have always lived my life with the goal of heaven but until I started to walk closer with God in almost constant prayer for my mom and others I had lost the perspective of eternity with God. I think everyone in this situation finds themselves at the crossroads of the longer path with the peace God promises or the shortcuts that the devil tempts us with. I find myself praying longer and more honestly with God. I know that he is listening because I can see my mom's energy increase daily as she can breathe better. She is absolutely the example of grace and beauty everyday and although we all have our moments I can tell she is resting in his peace. Thank you so much for praying for my mom's healing physically but her emotional peace that God is in control and he is love.
I am so grateful mom can work some each day. This will help her find a better normal for herself during her treatments and give her more routine in her life. Although she is beautiful as "Joan on the throne" she isn't comfortable at all being so fatigued. I am proud of her either way but it really does us all good to see her up moving around and even running some laundry. She better not let me catch her changing her sheets or anything just yet but it is awesome that she is able to do as much for herself as she feels like.
They are still receiving meals, cards, emails, visits, phone calls and prayers prayers prayers! Thank you all so much for loving us and having faith in God's plan for us. We are truly blessed!!

November 30, 2009

Today was a very cold day here! Ken took mom to her treatment early. I went over to mom's about 9:30 and got breakfast, g'mommie gave HR a bottle, and I got a roast in the crock pot for dinner before going to pick mom up. The West Clinic was slammed today. They had people parked all the way down the street. The first thing mom said when she got into the car was how glad she was she re-scheduled to first thing in the morning treatment.
I went with Todd to his doctor appt at noon while mom and grandmommie took Haidyn home. When I got back Haidyn was being rocked with a bottle by the Christmas tree, so she could see the lights of course, by greatgrandmommie. I don't know who will miss who more tmrw but grandmommie and Haidyn have really bonded. They talk all day and take rest periods. Grandmommie even knows her crys now so Grandmommie would let us know what Haidyn had to say:) I think we have all appreciated our time with grandmommie but none like the little spoiled one. Mom and grandmommie have spent some special time together and with Haidyn.
Ken went and picked up the family pictures tonight. Mom looked so good in the pictures. She said she feels better about her wig now that she sees how pretty it looks on her. It has been a tough time for company how mom's treatments were scheduled but atleast now Erica, Michael and Grandmommie can say they have seen the worst side effect for mom, fatigue, and we can all live with fatigue.
God has been so good to us. Mom has some of the best doctors and nurses watching over her treatments. The treatments have been fairly kind to her physically and she is ready to get some results from her treatment. We even got Grandmommie to agree to come back more often and see us, I think Haidyn made a deal with her and she may be just 10lbs but she's pretty stinkin' hard to say no to.
We are all tired and will certainly fall asleep unready to say goodbye in the morning but blessed by the time we have shared the last week.

November 29, 2009

So I am going to start this a little earlier tonight in hopes that I will stay awake to finish the blog.
Friday Erica, Michael, Todd and I went black Friday shopping for everyone's list. We got home about 11 and needed a rest peroid! We hung out for a while then HR and I went to the house. Todd and Michael watched football at our house while Erica, Grandmommie and mom had a short outting together. We went back to mom's for dinner where Ken had cooked a wonderful chicken crock pot meal. We all went over to our house after dinner to celebrate Christmas together with Erica and Michael and grandmommie. We must have all been on the nice list cause Santa was very good to us all!
Erica and Michael had to leave the house about 6am Saturday morning. No one was ready for them to leave but we were all so thankful they were able to be with us for a few days. We felt so bad for Erica because she had to go home and only have about 3 hours before she had a closing shift at her work. Mom appreciated her sacrifice so much; I don't think Erica will ever know how much it meant to her.
Yesterday mom got ken to go up in the attic and get the boxes of our old clothes that mom made and some that were even hers. It was a special time to go through all that old stuff together. We got a little teary thinking about Erica not being with us but we called and talked to her. There are a few outfits I know haidyn will be getting her picture made in for sure:) We had a chicken cassarole of Sherry's for dinner which is Todd's favorite dish. After dinner Todd, Haidyn and I came home.
This morning we all got to go to church together. Haidyn really enjoyed showing GiGi and greatgrandmommie her dress up clothes and how sweet she can be in church. She was all smiles this morning for sure, right up to the very end. Josh's lesson was about being hungry for righteousness. It was a very good lesson for us today.
We went to Picadilly for lunch then everyone went home for naps, except Haidyn! She's been so spoiled lately because of company and we've felt bad for her having a stuffy nose that she didn't want to rest alone and Todd went hunting so I was left to entertain a spoiled and tired 3 month old-yay!
God has been so good to our family this year. He has blessed our family with extreme highs and also extreme lows. Out of our experiences we are now better able to empathize with others and celebrate the good God is creating even in tough situations. I know that I personally have found greater strength in God through answered prayers just in the last 3 months of motherhood and in the face of our battle with mom. God's love for us is amazing and the faithfulness is incredible. Everyday it is still a choice to look at the positive but everyday it gets easier. I don't know how many prayers I have lifted over the last 4 days for energy to help make everything well for our company and for mom to have strength and feel well enough to be with us and enjoy the time together. Mom is not use to being served because she is usually the service provider. I know it has been tough especially this week to be "Joan on the throne" but we have assured her we never expected her to entertain this holiday as she normally does. We look forward to her getting back to her normal self so that we can all be together again and mom be right in the middle of it all like she prefers to be. She has enjoyed many rest periods with Haidyn so I appreciate Haidyn being on the right pace with mom so they both would take rest periods that we didn't have to force on either of them so they would not wear down by the end of the day.
Its been the best few days, totally worth the weeks of planning, cleaning, cooking and anticipation for the time together. My prayer has been that everyone's circumstances are such that they have taken the time to loose count of their blessings just as we have. Our God is an awesome God and I want to enter his gates with thanksgiving in my heart when I meet him one day. Through this journey and my growing prayer life and scripture searching I have tried to focus my life on the real meaning that this world is not my home, these things are not mine nor do they define who I am and EVERYTHING is in God's control. When you look through those lenses, what freedom and love can overflow!

November 28, 2009

Well it has very good Thanksgiving for us. Michael and Erica were not expected till midnight Wednesday night but they caught an early morning standby flight and made it by 2pm Wednesday. And that's when the fun began!
Thursday morning Haidyn and I got to mom's about 8:30am and everyone was still in bed. I put Haidyn in her sling and she helped me clean the bird and get him stuffed. She and I spent the morning counting our blessings while we worked. By the time grandmommie got up the bird was ready for the oven and Haidyn had lost count and decided to take a nap. I laid her down on grandmommie's bed so they could snuggle a while and visit.
Once everyone got up and moving it was time to start cooking the rest of the meal. Erica is a BIG scrapbooker and I bought her a little project to work on. She finished a holiday can to take home with my supplies. She was interested in my growing scrapbooking tool collection, Haidyn's scrapbook I finished for her but most of all my excitment in the hobby. Grandmommie, Ken and mom passed Haidyn around and visted while Michael and Todd came to our house to play video games.
About 2:30 we all came to the table to eat. There was turkey, dresssing, gravy, green beans, pinto beans, corn, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, fruit salad and corn bread. Whew- we did some good eating!
After lunch there were many rest periods as we planned black friday shopping plans.
Friday morning Haidyn got to slip in bed with GiGi before 5am and miss the shopping trips....
And that's where I passed out last night:) more to come-we are so thankful for the answered prayers. God is always good!

November 25, 2009

God is good! Everyone made it safely here and erica and michael even got on standby flight and made it early. Haidyn has a congestion so she's not feeling her best but thankfully there have been plenty of volunteers around to help snuggle, spoil and soothe her today.
I am looking forward to making our bird tmrw morning and spending some quality time with some of my favorite people. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank you all so much for all the prayers. We are praying for the very best thanksgiving ever.

November 24, 2009

Today was a better day for mom but the days right after the 3 drug treatment seem to be the roughest for her. She wanted to feel better for when everyone gets here so we are hoping she will sleep well tonight and be well rested. Erica called her tonight while we were having dinner and instructed mom to go to bed early so she will feel her best tomorrow for when she and Michael get here.
Mom was up to going with Ken to pick up Grandmommie from the airport. She had a good flight from Virginia. We are so happy she was able to come to visit us and will be here an entire week. She is worried about wearing out her welcome but little does she know we would love to kidnap her and keep her here to watch Haidyn grow. Haidyn loves her great grandmommie but I don't think she loves her as much as great grandmommie loves her. All grandmommie needed to see was those little brown eyes and she pronounced her little Emily Joan. She cannot see any of her daddy in her because all she sees is little me because of her dark coloring but Haidyn does look a lot like her daddy.
Today has been a better day for our family too. Todd was able to leave Haidyn at the babysitter longer and my day at work was less lost I guess you could say. God has been so good. We feel so fortunate to be in Memphis where the West Clinic is so that there is no travel for mom's treatments and we can all stay close. If you have never been to the West Clinic, I hope you don't need treatments there but I do recommend going for a visiting. It is so pretty in there and the people are the nicest in our town. I look forward to taking Grandmommie on Monday to see the clinic where mom gets her treatments. I know she will be so impressed with the facilities, staff and volunteers that make it such a wonderful place.
I hope that everyone is laying their head down tonight with the excitement of the holiday like we are. We have so much to be thankful for. Our God is so faithful and we are enjoying the blessings he provides for us everyday. and right now I am at mom's house watching Ken decorate this nice clean home like the north pole. We are breaking out in a Christmas wonderland as I type this.

November 23, 2009

Well today was a hard day on everyone. I went back to work, Haidyn was with the babysitter, Todd missed his girls and mom didn't go to work today. She was still tired from her treatment Friday and church yesterday so she stayed home to rest up for her company. We are so excited about having grandmommie here tomorrow night and Erica and Mike Wednesday. I am worn out though.
Today as I sat at my desk I thought again about the choice to be sad I was at work or count my blessings and be grateful for all I have. Many asked about my mom at work today. These people don't know her but what a blessing to know they are praying with us. Mom is doing so well considering the treatments she has to undergo. We are able to be with her when we need to be and we talk several times a day. God is good! When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed, when you are discouraged thinking all is lost, count your many blessings see what God has done. What a blessed nation and people we are! Although there are things like cancer, addictions, job loss, accidental deaths and countless other stresses here in this world they will never outnumber God's blessings. Today of all days I had to choose to flip the coin and look at the shiny bright side rather than the dull side. Not an easy day because I wanted more than anything to be by my mom's side with my baby but we will all be together later this week.
We will be praying and thanking God especially for all of you as we gather as a family and pray together. Its only because of God's faithfulness that we are being so richly blessed while walking solely by faith in his healing power.

November 22, 2009

Well for the daily blog readers you probably noticed I missed a day and still didn't blog till 11 the next night, that is how busy I have been since I laid my head down Friday night.
Yesterday we got over to mom's about 11am, we played with Haidyn all day but mostly I prepped the guest bedrooms, baths and help get them cleaned up for company with them. They are officially Thanksgiving guest ready! Karen Shaw came over for a quick visit and brought them the best chicken lasagna and salad and bread. We have truly been blessed with the christian family that prays like you do.
Haidyn rode in her sling awake through most of the grocery shopping for the list we made yesterday. I know people thought I was crazy telling this little head with wide brown eyes every thing I picked up and put in the cart next to her curious eyes at the store but as tired as I feel I needed to talk to someone or I will fall asleep- haha. She fell asleep and slipped back out of sight in the checkout line; we weren't the only ones there today! Once we got to mom's I unloaded then we checked our list twice. What fun we've had just in the anticipation of everybody being together Thanksgiving. We are so thankful!
Today the sermon by Tom Alexander was tough because it is so much easier to say "Woe is me; God has forsaken me because of this circumstance or another." His lesson was on Psalms 100. Its a good read. The one thing that stood out to me is that our God is faithful. Just like a marriage contract- for better or worse you will faithfully have a loving spouse. God is faithful to the promises he gives us and we are in turn commanded to trust in Him and be thankful for all our gifts. The devotional for today was also about thankfulness also. It said God always plants the seed for blessings throughout our day but only when we walk in the light in peace that if we follow him will we be able to acknowledge the blessing rather than be in control of the outcomes and circumstances of life.
We have so much to be thankful for. All the horror stores and most honestly the truth for side effects in other patients that were VERY undesirable, mom has not suffered. This second round of Taxil has thinned her hair but she's still got her spunk :) As I cleaned and made beds yesterday she kept trying to come help me. I finally told her, "... take it to the couch and play with Haidyn or we were going to fight because she was insulting my teacher of domestic necessities by trying to help a capable willing volunteer." I finally just pulled her up a rocker and let her come SIT in the room I was in so she didn't miss anything. We had a good time and I know she feels confident that everything is done now that the house is ready and the groceries are bought and she is rested. I am really looking forward to having everyone together and cooking Thanksgiving together. We have so much to be thankful for.
I wish you all the best Thanksgiving week; it will be very busy for us. For those that feel like there is something about your season that just doesn't seem fair or thankful this family understands but....think again:) My mom has the best attitude. She is truly humbled by the acts of love and volunteers for service. She and Ken have said countless times how many kind words, emails, cards, small prayer tokens, text messages, phone calls, comments on the blog, prayers lifted and blessings recieved have humbled them and overwhelmed them. I concur! This family has a LOT to be thankful for, we just look harder for those blessings daily through prayer and real deliberations to walk in the light of faith in God's faithfulness to acknowledge them all because the devil is tempting us with fear constantly. I pray that God will keep the devil's fear away and continue to shower us all with peace in his faithful as we grow closer in our walk with him and each other over this holiday.

November 20, 2009

Well today mom had her second round of the chemo. Sherry went and sat with her this treatment. Mom said they just sat and visited and caught up on everything while she took her treatment. She suprised herself that the benadryl didn't knock her right out like it usually does. Sherry is so much fun anyway I don't know why you would want to nap.
I got caught up with stuff at my house so I didn't go over but I was there last night. Haidyn and I are going to go over there early in the morning and spend most of the day preparing for our company this week. Mom sounded great when I talked to her. She was so excited about her visit with Sherry and all the family coming in next week I don't know if she went to bed early or not but she did say that they were looking forward to sleeping in so not to come early. Good for both of them!
The Lord is looking out for us. He continues to strengthen my mom and by your love she is encouraged to be a "poster girl" for lung cancer. I have every confidence she will do it too. I start back to work Monday so it will be an adjustment for us all. I do thank God everyday for the time I have been able to afford to have off both with my daughter and my mother. I am however considering a move to Canada before my second child; did you know their maternity leave is for a year?!

November 19, 2009

Mom has made it into work 1/2 days everyday this week. We have had such a good week but tmrw is mom's chemo treatment again. So, we start over with the worst of the side effects but hopefully her body has adjusted well to the initial shock of the drugs. Her day will start very early at 8am check in to the clinic. She probably will not be home till after 5. Sherry wants to go sit with her this treatment so she will have good company while she is awake. Phil and Sherry prayed with mom today at just the right time. Steph brought over dinner and visited with her for a few minutes while I was there this evening.
I think everyone, in our family atleast, has our moments still of doubt. God has blessed us in so many ways but the devil is so smart for knowing your moments of weakness and crawling his unfaithful thoughts into our heads. I fight those moments everyday even after a month of dealing with this. I go back to work full time Monday. Although I am looking forward to being back to normal, I will miss my baby and my mom. I have really enjoyed the time I have been able to spend with her the last 5 weeks and more importantly serving her. My whole life she has given and served me and I feel so blessed that God has allowed me this time to bless her with my talents and company without the distraction of work.
We had a sermon when I was in the last few weeks before delivering Haidyn about being still and knowing that God is Lord. I thought then how restless I was to have my baby in my arms and just knew for sure God had forgotten how terribly uncomfortable the last weeks of pregnancy were and I would just be pregnant forever. Now that I am waiting to know if all these treatments are really working for my mom I am extremely restless about being still and waiting for God's answer. I am so thankful mom qualified for this clinical trial so we will have results in about 4 weeks to know what effect the drugs are having on the cancer. Psalms 27:13-14 "I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
That is so tough to do these days. Please pray for our continued faith in God's plan, the doctors and nurses that are treating mom and hundreds of others, mom's strength tmrw as she starts the chemo over and praise Him for the blessings he is pouring over us through the love and support you all provide.

November 18, 2009

It was a huge day today. Mom went back to work till about lunch. She then went home for her two hour minimum rest period. I met them at the final dress rehearsal of the play at CBHS. The set was beautiful and they did an excellent job. By being at the rehearsal allowed her to see the play without being in a crowd. Todd left a little early and mom caught a ride home with him mid-way through the second act so Ken could finish the play. A few of their couple friends were with them so it was a tiring outing for her after working too.
I cannot believe the beauty and strength of my mom these days. She is simply unwilling to allow these treatments to hold her back from the things she loves. I enjoyed listening to her tell about the commercial shoot during the intermission. It will be fun to see her on TV; she's always been a celebrity to us :)
Our family is so excited that in a week we will all be together. Erica and I are going to cook the Thanksgiving meal- please reserve an extra few minutes in prayer to pray for the process and the outcome- haha. I believe mom is going to go to work tomorrow again then she has treatment Monday. I asked her tonight if she would just keep Haidyn for me on Wednesday when grandmommie is here since they live in the direction of my work. She told me she might feel up to that with a huge smile on her face.
Thank you so much for all your endless love, support and prayers. Because of your continual prayers our mom hasn't let this chemo get the best of her and she is breathing better everyday. Other than being tired she hasn't had many other complaints. Thanks be to God for answering our prayers and we are looking forward to being together as a family and mom will be strong enough to enjoy it with us. I too have been so motivated spiritually for the scriptures and dedication to praying that it is amazing the good that comes from something this scary. One round of treatment down; we start the second round Friday afternoon. Although the expectation was established in the first round I know I am holding my breath that the second will be as gentle to her while as aggressive as possible to the tumors in her body.

November 17, 2009

Today was a HUGE day for mom. She went to work till about noon. When she got home I called her and she was going to lay down for her 2 hour nap before her time slot at the commercial shoot.
I talked to Ken tonight and she was on the phone with my grandmommie. Ken said when she got there they had someone to come and fluff her hair and retouch her makeup before she was in front of the camera. He said they gave her an amercian express gift card as a thank you for participating. He sounded very excited and said mom was really tired.
Work then play, now that's my mom getting back to being my mom. What a wonderful day she had and it was so cold and cloudy today but the sun was shinning on mom. We have an amazing Lord who is really providing for our family in many ways.
Thank you all so much for the prayers- God hears and is answering.

November 16, 2009

Right as Haidyn and I pulled up to my mom's driveway my sister called. Mom was outside waiting on her girls so she got on the phone with Erica for a minute. We are all getting very excited about being together NEXT WEEK :)
Mom went to work for a little while today. She called me just after noon to let me know she was home. She was tired but feeling good about getting up and at em this morning. She and Haidyn "took a rest period" as mom calls it. She enjoyed pulling an old trick for getting me to sleep to work on baby girl.
Ken had a boys night out with a couple of his men buddies. Mom said it might be a beer bust minus the beer or bust- haha. Ken had to spend plenty of time with his girls though so the most important one laid on his chest and took another "rest period" while he watched the news.
God is really blessing our lives. Mom is scheduled for her commercial shoot for the West Clinic tomorrow. I think she is excited about it. I can't say enough or express our gratitude fairly for those people that work at the West Clinic. If you have never been there, you are missing out on some of the smartest and sweetest people in the world. We are taken away with mom's direct doctor and her research nurse; they are fabulous! The entire staff that we have encountered have been nothing but stellar in their field of medicine and character of people to literally treat others as they would want to be treated in the circumstance.
I pray daily that these people find their confidence and compassion from the same place we do- God. God promises to always be holding our hand guiding us with his counsel. After which God will lead us to glory and the cares of this world will never amount to the love we have for him to overcome through the strength he provides. How many can say they have strong enough faith in God that they can and will overcome all that we are faced with her to enter glory with him? Many would say they do not but many would say they do. I have ridden this fence for many years of my life through these circumstances I would say this family is strengthening their faith in the steadfast presence of God and the promise or peace in his love and promises.
Thank you all. Mom's heart bowl runneth over :) with cards. She is still enjoying all the emails, calls and prayers. We are blessed to have friends and family who love us and love the Lord to lift us in prayer as often as you do. Thank you!

November 15, 2009

Wow, what a great day. We had the most perfect weather today here in Memphis. We got up and went to church. We had the nursery but Todd went on into the service. I didn't know till after it was over my mom was there! I couldn't believe that she made it but she did. She looked beautiful! I know she probably went home and took a good long nap but she was glad to be at services. She came in the nursery and held her girl for a few minutes before we went home.
God promised us that we would face troubles in this world but assured us he would be here for us to find peace in time of storm. Well, we have looked fear and troubles and the big C word in the face for 4 weeks now and have found peace only in God's love for us. I can't tell you how amazed I am at the strength of my mom and the desire she has to beat this cancer. She is planning on going into work again in the morning and working till about lunch. I told her when she gets home I will come over with Haidyn and put her down for a nap with GiGi and I will bring my steam cleaner to get all the floors cleaned in her house for her. We are on the countdown now till everyone gets here for Thanksgiving.
John 16:33- "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble but take heart! I have overcome the world."
Amen!!

November 14, 2009

God is truly blessing us! Today we all went over to mom and Ken's and she hadn't showered yet. She said she had slept most of the day but was feeling really good after all that resting. Haidyn and I stayed for about two hours. Mom got her shower and fluffed her hair. She was looking forward to Leslie coming over to bring dinner because she actually felt well enough to get a hug from her. It was so good to see her in such high spirits the day after treatment. I asked her if she felt like she was still able to breath better. She said, "improving with every breath!" Absolutely amazing. She has some really good and some really tough days but all in all I think the experience has been better than we had hoped for. I know that it is the power of the countless prayers for my mom because other patients have very serious side effects with the exact same drug treatment. Mom had another stack of cards. She has enjoyed reading them to me and reconnecting with so many from my childhood. Thank you all for being so personal in your cards and emails. As you all know my mom is very social and active. Being stuck at home and isolated from her normal busy life, having these cards and emails to look forward to has kept her connected. She enjoys getting on her facebook and seeing what everyone is doing. Isn't technology wonderful :)
Thank you all for everything but most importantly the prayers. I am looking forward to being at church tomorrow to be with our church family. Todd and I have the infant nursery in the morning too! I am hoping mom might feel up to it in the morning.

November 13, 2009

First off, please accept my apology for not posting last night. Second, yesterday was a good day! Haidyn and I went to mom's before her treatment. Mom got to change her first diaper for Haidyn. I left her for no more than 20 minutes with Mom and she created the worst mess of a diaper ever. Atleast mom will have a good story to tell. The weather was perfecy so mom really sitting outside letting the cool fall breeze hit her.
We dropped her off about 1 for her treatment at west clinic. Ken brought her home a little before 4. She was a little loopy but only from the benadryl. Susie stopped by to check on her too. I think she was looking forward to crawling in her bed with clean sheets and sleeping it off.
Todd and I got tickets to the basketball game. We took our little Tiger fan to her first game. She stayed awake the whole time taking it all in but fell asleep on the walk back to the car. When we got home I went to put her in her own bed and sat down in her floor to make sure she put herself to sleep and I ended up sleeping there myself. What a great day we had yesterday. I'm looking forward to calling mom in a little bit and see how she's feeling. Thank you all so much for the countless prayers- God is answering!

November 13,200c

November 12, 2009

Today was another good day, much better than the last two. I went over to mom's around lunch. Haidyn and I cleaned the kitchen while mom got a shower and got ready to run some errands. We were able to run by CHBS for mom to see the set Ken has been working on. This is one of her favorite shows.
Tomorrow I will take her for another treatment that should only take a couple hours. I could really see the dry skin on her face today indicating the drugs are working! She had the best time riding in the backseat talking to her baby as we were out a bit today.
The devotional book I have is "Jesus Calling". It gives you a focus for the day from a blending of scriptures througout the old testament and new. I have really enjoyed it. Today's passages said that God grieves when we don't accept his blessings. We will never deserve all that God blesses us with but that by his grace, mercy and love he provides it still. We are truly blessed in countless ways and at a time like this it would be so much easier to be angry with God. Thanks to all the encouragement and prayer we are all counting our blessings and praising God for the ways he continues to bless us daily. Mom is such a strong fighter and prayers are being answered.

November 11, 2009

Today my devotional book started me off with just what I needed but I didn't know what the day would hold for me. It said not to let any circumstance intimidate me because God knows what strength I will need to make it through the day and he will empower me accordingly. It said that he doesn't empower us equally each day but that he empowers us based on two variables: the degree of the circumstance we are facing and our willingness to depend on him. Wow, what a bold God we serve!
I went over to mom's this afternoon so that Ken could go to school and get some stuff done on his set. His play opens next weekend at CBHS. He told me when I got there that mom should be waking in about 30 minutes but she didn't. After I had been there almost 2 hours I went to peak in her room at her. Yeah, that lasted all of 10 seconds before Haidyn wanted GiGi to know she was there so she let out a little happy scream. That scared mom awake but she was all smiles to see two of her favorite girls standing by her bed. We gave Haidyn a bottle and played with her for a while.
This is day 12 since mom's first chemo treatment. So far, so good. They told us about the skin rash from the Erbitux and that we want to see it because that is indication that is is working internally as well. She is starting to get that but its more like dry skin which is something mom and I are well acquainted with since we both have excema. They told her 10-14 days before we should know about hair loss and so far I don't think she has experienced any of that. She does have a couple of wigs which we had the best time putting on Haidyn this evening and taking pictures of her in them. The ones with her in the wig with her passy were the funniest to me. Mom and I could barely catch our breaths we were laughing so hard at her while Ken was trying to get the pictures. I hope that Ken posts some of them on his facebook for you guys to see. Haidyn is so funny; she knows when she sees the flash now that her picture is being taken and she likes it.
Other than extreme fatigue, some abdominal discomfort and the skin rash mom is doing really well. Each day has the potential for new side effects from the drugs so please continue to keep her in prayer that she will find peace with whatever she may face for that day. She is however still enjoying a better breath with every single breath she takes- praise God! We have so much to be thankful for still finding comfort with this illness is tough. I trust that God is holding my mom close in his arms and Ken too as they deal minute by minute with the illness, treatments and side effects of this drug. Mom's doctor is so compassionate and I appreciate you all for continuing to thank God for her spirit and wisdom to guide us through this battle. She is wonderful at prompt response day or night to mom via emails. What a blessing to have a doctor who makes herself available like this to answer easy and tough questions 24/7 personally.
Thank you all so much for the countless prayers and acts of love and support for all of us through this time. This has been an overwhelmingly humble experience for me personally just in the first few weeks of our journey to see that so many love my mom, our family and the Lord so much.
Psalm 105:3-4 "Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always." Our God is an awesome God.

Neovember 10, 2009

We finally got to see mom today for the first time since last Friday. Haidyn and I went over about 11:30 so I could make lunch for mom. She gave Haidyn a bottle while I made her lunch. She said she didn't over- do it yesterday but she doesn't want to so she stayed home today. After lunch I did a little picking up and cleaning then I ran some errands for mom while she rested with Haidyn. When I got back they were napping so I did a little scrapbooking. I am totally hooked to the scrapbooking since Erica introduced me in September. I am going to make mom a scrapbook for Christmas now that I have finished Haidyn Rae's baby scrapbook.
Mom got another half dozen cards in the mail today. After she read them Ken put them in a heart shaped pottery bowl that he made. Ken told her that her heart is almost full. I know he was talking about her bowl but her literal heart is full too which all the love and encouragement everyone has sent to her. There were several phone calls while I was there checking on mom. I am amazed everyday with the outpouring of support for us. I can't thank you all enough for loving us and praising God for holding us in his hand and blessing us the way he has.

November 9, 2009

I am typing this on my blackberry from the floor of my daughter's nursery as I am trying to transition her to sleeping in her own room this week. This experience makes me love and appreciate my mom all the more:)
About 9am I got a call this morning on my cell from a number I didn't recognize. I amswered and it was my mom. She said, "I know you would be calling me to check on me soon and I didn't want you to worry about where I was, I'm at work!" At first I thought it was a joke but then I remembered she called from a new number so it was true. She said she had talked to the doctors and told them that she wanted to come in for a little while just to feel normal again. They made her promise not to overdo it and welcomed her to come back to work.
I called her after lunch and asked her how it went. She said she left a little before lunch and that she was taking a nap. She sounded tired but good. She had taken some new pictures of Haidyn with her to show her buddies. She said they kept a close eye on her and she would see if she felt like going in tmrw. How amazIng is that? Ten days into treatment and my mom decides she's strong enough to go back to work for a little while. We feel so blessed that mom is feeling better and that she has the kind of love and support of her 2 doctors, Dr Ijams and Dr Turner, and their entire staff to pray without ceasing for her healing and to keep so a close watch on her while allowing her to work when she feels up to it these days.
I haven't seen mom since Friday but everyday I have talked to her and she sounds stronger than the day before. Tmrw I will have to go over there and see her. Thank you all so much for the countless prayers that have been lifted. God is answering in a powerful way!

November 8, 2009

We went to early service this morning and Ken was able to make it this morning but mom was not. The lesson today was from the Psalms of the lamented. It was a lesson that I really did need this morning because it is hard to accept bad things happening to good people. Josh was right when he said we would probably do better to accept if good things happened once in a while for bad people instead of really bad things happening to good people.
The last song was Blessed Be Your Name. The second verse of that song is what really stuck with me throughout the day.
"When the sun is shinning down on me, When the world's 'all it should be', Blessed be your name. Blessed be your name. On the road marked with suffering, Though there's pain in the offering, Blessed be your name. Blessed be your name. Every blessing your pour out I'll turn back to praise. When the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say, Blessed be the name of the Lord. Blessed be your name. Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be your glorious name."
Its hard to sing blessed be your name when your road is marked with suffering but so easy when we are having blessings poured out on us. In the beginning of all this I think we all asked God in the back of our minds "Why me Lord?" Now that we are 3 weeks from that day it is a lot easier to sing blessed be your glorious name when we see all the ways God is blessing us. Mom's treatments are going very well. All the family will be here and together for the holiday. We are a closer family that is praying more together and sharing more of ourselves. Most importantly, we have been shown so much love and encouragement over the past 3 weeks from all of you. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

November 7, 2009

My husband's aunt sent me a great book in the mail this week that has really helped channel my readings daily. Thanks Aunt Sandy! I shared this book with my mom yesterday and she liked it too. Today I read from Psalms 27. The last verse stuck with me through today. Psalms 27:14- "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." That is so hard to do when we think we control our lives. I am so glad that mom is tolerating the chemo drugs so well so that we will get results after 2 cycles instead of having to wait on all 6 cycles.
We did not see mom today but I did talk to her on the phone this afternoon. She sounded more like herself than she has sounded in about a month. She said that Sherry came over and so did Susie. She said she had a bit more energy today but no one was home with her to play- haha.
I am so proud of her strength. She sounded awesome today. I asked her if she thought she would make it to church in the monring and she said no. They talked to her about being in big crowds right now because of her red blood count. I am sure we will go by and see her when we get out. I am so glad our services can be viewed online for her so she isn't missing it.
Thank you all for everything. I am amazed at the power of the Lord and the prayers that are being lifted in our name.

November 6, 2009

We went to mom's about an hour before she left for her treatment today. She was up and had her cute new haircut fluffed up. I took she and Ken a decent sampling of my turkey from last night as a preview for Thanksgiving to have tonight for dinner. Once they left Haidyn and I cleaned the house and waited for them to return. Ken brought mom home around 4:30. They give her benadryl as part of her pre- meds which really knocks her out. She was a bit drowsy when they got home but still feeling well.

We were talking about Thanksgiving plans before I left. She said that while she was at the clinic the research nurse asked her how she felt after last week's treatment. She told her she wished she had more energy but if that is the only thing she could complain about then she has a lot to be thankful for. The nurse agreed. The nurse told her that she has another patient that started the same treatment last week as well who spent the next 4 days after treatment in bed and sick. Praise God that my mom is tolerating the chemo meds well and fatigue is her only complaint. She was so scared of being really, horribly sick as they described to us could be possible on this chemotherapy drug.

Mom, Ken and I have gotten so many emails and comments on my blog. Some telling of survivors stories to encourage, some just letting us know they are praying and/or thinking about us, some thanking me for my ability to blog but yet others saying that my blog has brought them closer to God. I am honored that I can help others see Jesus at a time when I am struggling daily to trust in him. I cannot take credit for my ability to write- thanks to the Harding English teachers who never gave up on me and taught me how to write: Mrs. Rubio, Ms. Tidwell, Mrs. Sanders and Mrs. Donaldson. You ladies really have a gift to teach with love and to show Christ in all you do as well. It's hard with all the influences I have had in my life not to see God's amazing love because I have had so many christian influences such as these ladies in my life. I am blessed to not only have parents that love the lord but parents who surrounded me with examples of others who loved the lord as well. I know exactly how important it will be for me to do the same for my daughter so that one day when she is struggling to accept God's will she will have so many that love her to pray for her and encourage her as you all have.

Thank you all for your trust in God's plan, for lifting us up in prayer daily to him, for encouraging and loving our family in countless ways, and for praising God for never leaving us and providing us peace when the devil tempts us to fear. We are looking forward to a great weekend together. I am hoping that mom may even feel up to making it to church Sunday with Haidyn for the first time :)

November 5, 2009

Well today mom had a big day. I called and checked on her schedule for the day this morning. She and Susie went out to look at wigs together and get lunch. I think Tricia went by and visited with her as well. I talked to her late in the afternoon to tell her I was testing my turkey roasting skills and she sounded really tired.
I talked to Ken tonight about 8:30 and mom was already asleep. I am glad she is able to get some rest. Tomorrow she will go at 1pm for another treatment. She will only get the Erbitux tomorrow so it should not be as harsh for her physically. I am interested to see how she reacts to just the clinical trial drug. I am going to go over tomorrow morning with Haidyn and work on their house again. I think it is good for her to come home to a fresh and clean home. It always makes me feel better, especially when I have clean sheets :)
As I have watched my mom's strength fade but her courage grow in the past 3 weeks I know it is Christ strengthening her through the prayers that are being raised on her behalf. Phil. 4:13- "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." I am humbled by the overwhelming response of prayers for my mom. I always thought she was the best but its awesome to see that so many agree. I am so proud of my mom. As I prayed and read my bible I found this verse which gave me peace to make it through today. Isaiah 30:15- "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength." Thank you God for the reassurance that if we are still and put our faith in your plan that you will provide all our needs, including strength when we feel weak, scared, and helpless. We serve an awesome, powerful and loving Lord who never leaves us. What a good feeling to know that he is always there with us from birth to death. He is a God of miracles and we are lifting my mom, the doctors and all those suffering from cancer up to him asking him to heal their bodies.
It will never be enough to tell you all thank you but it is the best I can do. We are so thankful for all the acts of love but most importantly for the prayers. God is good always!

November 4, 2009

Haidyn and I went over to mom's about 11 to hang out with her today so Ken could feel free to work at school. I was able to finish Haidyn's scrapbook while mom and Haidyn took a nap. Sherry brought over a scripture scrapbook that she made for mom. It was so pretty! Mom read some of the scriptures aloud; she did a great job! Patsy hadn't seen mom since her diagnosis and called while I was there. She brought over a gift for Haidyn and got a hug from mom.
About 4 mom and I went over to Susie's for her to cut mom's hair. She got a shorter do. They put the curlers in and fluffed her up before I took her home. Mom was really tired when I dropped her off. I was surprised she didn't fall asleep in the backseat with Haidyn on the 10 minute ride home :)
The treatments are really wearing mom out but she is slowly accepting her new reality and adjusting well. She enjoys the animal planet and the old shows. Today she watched murder she wrote with Haidyn- I remember watching that with mom when I was little. The lady called her about the commercial for the West Clinic that she will be participating in. Mom is excited about the shoot that will be in a couple of weeks. We are getting ready for Friday's treatment. It will be much shorter than her first and she shouldn't have the same side effects of the chemo.
I can't say thank you enough for all the kind gestures but most importantly the prayers. We are so blessed. Thank you Lord for the avenue of prayer. I know that my prayer life has increased over the last 3 weeks and I feel closer to the spirit of God. We are so blessed and continue to receive blessings daily.

November 3, 2009

Well friends we are praising God. Today was better than yesterday and we are praying for tomorrow to be better than today. Mom is slowly accepting and adjusting to her slower pace and things are going very well. Haidyn and I stayed home getting a lot of things done today but we spoke on the phone several times. There were a few errands that had to be run and I believe mom was able to get out and ride with Ken. That's probably the the longest run mom has had at staying in the house. They said that a wonderful weight watchers dinner was brought over for them tonight and they enjoyed it very much. She sounds so much stronger. I can't wait to see her tomorrow and have her perform her deep breathing for me again. I told her we should video document it but I think she's afraid I will post it- haha :)
We have never had cancer in our family so this is all so new to us. I guess I was just naive to the fact that cancer has no bias and is not fair. Its kind of like when I had my wreck; I learned a new understanding of devastating physical injures and the strength it takes to accept being so weak. From this I have a new outlook on cancer victims and the strength in cancer survivors. I don't have to have the cancer in my body to now understand by watching my very active mom be grounded by this illness. I admire her strength to be so weak. When I was there 5 years ago it was mom who encouraged me daily not to give up and that I would gain my strength again. In case I haven't thanked her enough through the life I now lead- mom, I love you for being my rock on which I found my strength when I was physically down.
We appreciate all the continued cards, emails, text messages, FB comments, phone calls, comments on the blog, food but most importantly prayers! For those out of town mom and Ken's address is 3111 Milkyway Bartlett, TN 38134 if you would like to send cards. Prayer warriors are the best friends to have. Won't it be fun when we all get to heaven and we can ask God how he managed all the prayers we lifted to him :) May God bless all of your families. God is always good!

November 2, 2009

We are all amazed at the power of these drugs. Mom is already breathing better already. She was "performing" for Ken and I showing us how deep she could take a breath today without coughing. It is unbelievable how improved her ability to take a breath is from just 3 weeks ago. She is pretty worn down from the chemo therapy however no pains, no nausea and no illness. God is good!
She read me emails and cards she has gotten today while I was at the house. We talked about Thanksgiving plans and just spent time watching the little one. Erica and Michael are going to be coming from Phoenix as well so we will all be together again. I can't wait for us all to be able to share a meal and pray together and thank God for all the ways he has and is blessing our family.
It has been a long day but a good day. Mom is adjusting from her very fast paced life to being a couch potato as she calls it. She was flipping through the channels on TV this morning and said there was a woman on some show that was a lung cancer survivor. She said she was talking about her treatments, recovery and now her research and awareness participation. This woman is a music teacher and plays the saxophones! Mom was encouraged by this story. She said she is going to look her up online soon and learn more about this woman.
I can't even begin to tell you all how good God is- because most if not all of you already know. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you all for lifting our family up in prayer and praising God for all the blessings. Mom is so tough and she will survive this cancer that is growing with in her.

November 1, 2009

Today was a beautiful day. We went to church this morning and the lesson from Josh was about praising God. Our family has so many things to praise God for these days. He has blessed us with the most loving, encouraging, faithful praying friends and family; God has answered so many prayers already.
After lunch Haidyn and I went over to check on mom since I hadn't talked to her all day. When I called to let them know we were on our way over, Ken told me mom was soaking in her tub. She told me when I got there that she did enjoy relaxing in her tub today :) She felt a little more weak today so she slept in and had a nap but all things considered she still had a good day. The chemo treatment seems tolerable at this point- PRAISE GOD!
She enjoyed telling me about some of the people she has connected with through phone calls and emails the past week. Mom held Haidyn for a little while and started a bottle with her. Ken finished the bottle and held Haidyn next to mom and Haidyn showed them all her smiles while she made her happy baby noises.
For all that were around when we found out we were pregnant you probably know that I said I wanted a boy. When we found out it was a girl and she was healthy I never thought again about wanting a boy. In the past few days as I have prayed for understanding of our situation and begged for peace. What I have realized is exactly why God blessed me with a daughter. My mom has two daughters and Erica and I couldn't be any more different. There is one thing that we both share and that is a love for and faith in God. God knew I needed a daughter and mom needed a granddaugter at this time in our lives. Mrs. McCarver, your right- Daughters Rock! I want to teach my daughter to love God and others the same as my mom has taught me. I have some huge shoes to fill as a mom in the years ahead as I raise my daughter. It doesn't get any better than the mom I have. And it doesn't get any better than our heavenly father's love.
Everyday I make peace a little more with this cancer but I am still hurting for my mom. If I could take just a day of this for her, I would. If I could take it all for her, I would but I can't. This is God's plan and he is blessing us in so many ways. Erica and I are blessed to have strong christian husbands who love our mom about as much as we do. I know we are praying with our husbands for our mom. Thank you for praying in your homes and with your families for our mom too. A family that prays together stays together. May God bless all your families as much as he is blessing ours. Thank you all for everything but most importantly for praying for my mom's healing and praising him for blessing us.

October 31, 2009

God had been good. Mom emailed me early this morning her gratitude again for the work we did at her house yesterday and to let me know she had a good night. We talked around noon and I was a little worried that she was faking a good day. Todd went over and hooked up the water line for the new fridge and helped Ken get some stuff at Lowe's.
After I got stuff done around the house I packed up Haidyn and we went by mom's on the way to trunk or treat at church. The Bird's were there dropping off food for them and mom was asleep. After about 5 minutes of Haidyn's bottle mom walked in the room with a big smile. She was having a great day. I was so relieved to see how well she feeling and getting around. After she ate she came and got Haidyn from me to finish her bottle with her so I could eat. We got Haidyn dressed together in her pumpkin costume. Mom loved our little pumpkin and that she got a sneak peak at her costume with her own pictures last night.
I got to give Tricia a hug tonight at church for sitting with my mom. She said she did great yesterday. We have such a loving and supportive church family that it is hard to ever get down around that kind of encouragement. Throughout all of this my prayers and reading have increased. I found a verse today that comforted me.
2 Samuel 22:31-33 "As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a sheild for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." Our family has sought refuge from this fear in God and he is our Rock. He has a perfect plan for us all. God is holding us in the palm of his hand strengthening us through this battle every day.
Thank you so much for the prayers, comments and love. The stack of new cards in the mail box today was again amazing. Mom taught me to be a card writer so it is nice to see her getting so many cards in return.

October 30, 2009

This morning it was raining so bad. Todd drove Haidyn and I over to mom's to pick her up. We got breakfast on the way and mama sat in the back with Haidyn and I so she could talk to her on the way. When we got to the clinic we all said a prayer together. Mom said she was physically sick and tired but emotionally never stronger or more brave. I was so proud of her.
Tricia told me Wednesday night that she had her chemo upstairs at the West Clinic and mom would be down stairs so she would not get her favorite nurses. Tricia called me about 10 and told me that Patti, Tricia's best friend who sat through all her treatments with her, was already with mom this morning. She said that her favorite upstairs nurse happen to be working down stairs and was mom's nurse. Patti, Tricia, mom and the nurse sat together till Ken came later. Now that friends is a blessing. God was really looking over mom in every way he can reassure her.
They didn't get home till about 6:15pm. It was a really long day. I got Haidyn to cooperate and we got her Halloween pics taken this morning so I could surprise my mom with them. I went to their house and changed her sheets, did a couple loads of laundry, and cleaned her garden tub so she can take a bath when she gets ready to relax. Daniel and Todd got all the groceries moved from the old fridge to the new one and got the old one out in the garage for them. They were very pleased with their new fridge! I loved seeing their reaction to the fridge, all the cleaning, the flowers and the pictures of Haidyn. There were also atleast 12 new cards in the mail box today too. Amazing!
Ken got mom some dinner while I finished cleaning. Mom held Haidyn and they both relaxed till mom fell asleep. I put Haidyn back in her sling and finished up with Ken relaxed too. I asked mom how she felt and all she could say was tired and drugged. I think that would mean it was a pretty good day because their were no complaints.
THANK YOU ALL FOR THE PRAYERS AND MORE! Please continue to pray that she will have a tolerable weekend and these drugs will be gentle on her and aggressive to the cancer. God has blessed us in so many ways. The text messages, phone calls and Facebook comments all day has encouraged me so much. I love all of you for loving my mom so much and for having such faith in the power of God. God is good always!